Don't Go Back....The Time is Here

My 4 month old son has this little seat on wheels

We call it his “joovy”

He can act like he can sit up and walk

With the help of the seat under him

and the balance of the table in front of him

& he has control of the where the wheels take him

By the movement of his tiny little feet

He can steer that little joovy wherever his curious heart desires

But with his limited movement ability

He seems to only know how to go backwards…

No matter where I place him in the house

He always ends up backing himself into a corner

Into a wall

Into a table

Into anywhere possible in the house

Where he no longer can move

And starts to cry out

Because well he is stuck…

He doesn't yet seem to have the notion or knowing on how to go forward

Sound familiar?

It does to me

As God so graciously reminded me

For so long in my life

For so many year of constant battle

& strife

It seemed no matter how hard I tried to move my feet forward

I somehow went back

And got stuck

In the mud

Off the path

Only to find myself crying out again

And again

For God to save me

For God to help me

To break off the chains

To get out of the vicious cycles

Of bad habits

That always seemed to lead me back to this place

Of guilt

Of shame

Condemnation

& blame…

& I needed God to give me a push again

To pull me forward

And He would

Because He is so good

But it was as if i were still a baby

Learning to walk

I knew I could sit in this chair

While balancing next to this table

Because God had prepared it for me

And placed it before me

In the presence of my enemies

Yet, when I attempted to get up and walk

It always seemed like I was still just going one step forward

And ten steps back

Stuck again

Back here again

In this dark pit

Of shame

& self destruction

Trying to find the reset button

I realize now while I had the ability

& the God given right

To sit at His table

I was trying to stand

Before I was able

I needed to learn to walk

With God

Not before Him

I needed to learn to sit with Him ; Before I could stand next to Him

I may have been leaning on Him

To support me

But I was walking

Before He went before me

And because of that my feet seemed to always slip off track

My thoughts seemed to constantly take me back

Just like my 4 month old in his joovy

He may believe he is cruising

But just because he is able to balance by leaning on the support of the table

Doesn’t mean he is ready to walk...

I still may get off track

But this time

I won’t let me mind go back

For I know who stands before me

& sets a table for me

in the presence of my enemies

I may still be learning how to walk

But condemnation can no longer keep my trapped in blame

I will mess up

I will fall back

But with the help of His hand

I will get back on the path

This is a reminder

to you

to me

to anyone listening

to remain in Christ

do not fall prey to the attack

even when you slip off

even when you get off track

Don’t let the enemy keep you in a place where you feel you can no longer cry out to God

God is waiting for you to come back

God is waiting for you to realize all you need is Him

to ask for forgiveness

to fully surrender

in repentance

& remembrance

that you still have a seat at His table

& you are more than able

to fend off these attacks

just don’t go back

The enemy wants to keep you feeling guilt

& the weight of your shame

So that you feel like you are no longer worthy

so that you embrace all the blame

allow yourself to feel the guilt

& thank God for a broken spirit & a contrite heart

that leads to true repentance

allow that to draw you near

& have no fear

for your Father in heaven holds you dear

don’t go back.

draw near.

For the time is here...

"My [only] sacrifice [acceptable] to God is a broken spirit;

A broken and contrite heart [broken with sorrow for sin, thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise." - Psalm 51:17

"By this we will know [without any doubt] that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart and quiet our conscience before Him

whenever our heart convicts us [in guilt];

for God is greater than our heart and He knows all things [nothing is hidden from Him because we are in His hands].

Beloved, if our heart does not convict us [of guilt], we have confidence [complete assurance and boldness] before God;

and we receive from Him whatever we ask because we [carefully and consistently] keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight [habitually seeking to follow His plan for us].

This is His commandment, that we believe [with personal faith and confident trust] in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and [that we unselfishly] love and seek the best for one another, just as He commanded us.

The one who habitually keeps His commandments [obeying His word and following His precepts, abides and] remains in Him, and He in him. By this we know and have the proof that He [really] abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us [as a gift]." - 1 John 3:19-24