Don't forget who loved you in the past

I think most people also have that "one love" who stands out among the rest—the one who is just a memory away. All who have ever loved you are equally valuable and brought the same things to the relationship or marriage. This is what we dearly wish to believe, because if we were brutally honest with ourselves and admitted that there was that one person who was simply better all around—kinder, gentler, more compassionate and generous, who had more integrity, and who came into our lives with the goal of giving—this would mean that we settled for a lot less.

This could also mean that we made a pretty big mistake—an error in judgment. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough. Or maybe we were unable to recognize what that one love needed from us that we refused to give. I still sometimes thing back to those defining moments in time when I did all of the wrong things, said all of the wrong things, when I tried to impress and dazzle him in ways that were silly and vain, not realizing that I was dealing with someone with a very deep constitution.

I cannot forget him because I largely set the trajectory for that failure. By the time I did get a second chance, things had changed too much, and there was no way to turn back time. Well, there was this one girl that was amazing. Truly on of the best I could’ve asked for. We were together for around 2 months, but I messed up and did some “things” that I’m not proud of and broke her heart. But around 3 weeks later, she started talking to me just about every day. It was kind of odd how she just got over it so quick.

Then about 2 months later she asked me out again and gave me a second chance. She asked me back which was kind of unbelievable. We were together for another 4 months and this time I was pretty much sworn in to never hurt her again. But I had to move away, you know because nothing can last. But we still talked all the time and I was dead set on moving back when I could. But she found someone else and she told me she did it to “distract herself from me moving away.” And her new boyfriend is jealous even though I’m like 900 miles away so I can’t talk to her anymore. I guess that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I still can’t really for get about her, I still have a little sliver of interest in her, but I know it isn’t going to happen. We all gotta move on I guess.

To be honest, that feeling of true love will never go away completely. With time, you will learn to live with that pain, your heart will learn to live with it. If you love him/her truly, then it is really difficult to get over him/her and get over that love. There is no easy way to unlove a person and it is not that easy. Accept that your feelings for him/her are true, deep and real and acknowledge and feel that emotion. Feel that love and also feel that pain completely.

Then wish him/her well and try to stay away for you want him/her to be happy, if you truly love him/her. Don't fake your feelings. Cry if you want to, get angry if you want to, but process all those emotions fully. Time may lessen the pain. Have this in mind that you will never be completely over him/her, but you will have to start to learn to live with it. I can completely empathize with you and I know that pain as I have been going through the same for close to five long years. It is tough but I want her to be happy even if it doesn’t involve being with me. Love is about wanting the other to be happy, not about possession.

Do you still love someone even though you know you can't be together? It hurts. It hurts real bad. It stings. There is a pang in your heart every single time you think about them. You care for them that much and you love them that much. You experienced pinnacle of happiness when you were with them, and now when they leave, you experience nadir of sadness. It really hurts because you still care and you will care, even though they are with you or not. Your heart will still care.

But just remember it wasn't easy for them to let you go. Sometimes they leave because they can't see you sad. She left me that way and I completely get her view on this. She cared for me as a real friend and I love her even more. It stings me and I feel how much it would have hurt her too. She asked me to stay away for I can move on, little did she know that she was the one whom I genuinely love after my parents. I am still staying away for I want her to be happy. To be guilt free. I can't see her sad any day. We all know how much it stings us because we experience it. But we all should know how much it would hurt them too. I really care about her and her happiness still. That is what love and care is all about. If it was just distance and time that would make someone unlove, then love would be an easy thing. It isn't. True love will never fade. Cheers!