Don’t Focus On The Successes Of Others

#3 The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, Mark Manson

The Circle of Knowledge podcast is brought to you by Amplified Minds helping entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, and dreamers take their business ideas and goals to the next level. This podcast features best-selling industry resources and the professional panel discussion by the core team at Amplified Minds. Now, here are their discussions.

(Brian) Alright, we are so excited to be able to have you guys here with us today. I want to intro as my name is Brian Hubbard, and I'm here with Matt Fritzsche and Jon Kovach Jr. Anyway, welcome to the. Yep, that's right, the Circle of Knowledge. That's what we're talking about. Today, we're talking about the COK, Circle of Knowledge.

(Matt) To introduce a little bit of what we are going to be chatting about, as you've come to know by now. We give you blurbs of the things that we learned, whether they're fun things we pick up in the books that we read, or they are the serious things that every one of you needs to know to start taking action on. We're bringing it to you. We’re giving you the Circle of Knowledge. Our minds are now yours. The book we're talking about today, with the irony of the COK, the Circle of Knowledge is, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A”, and because my mother is probably listening, “F-splash (*)-C-K”, by Mark Manson. Jon, take it away. 

(Jon) Awesome. And before we get into it, I actually did want to share something about myself. I don't think anyone would know this, but I have a giggly jiggly-puff obsession with otters. I love otters. Sometimes they may even make me cry. And I won't get into that too much. But I love watching otters. I get emotional just thinking about them. 

(Brian) That will have to be the next work trip where we're going to go to an aquarium. We now know where we're going. 

(Jon) From the book, I wanted to touch on one concept out of the many things in this book. Again, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck,” we're just going to give it as it's read. Therefore, I will go on that just in the first few pages. This stood out to me so much and actually carried throughout the entire book. But just get this. Okay. So don't get caught up in the successes of others. But just be you. Don't get caught up in the successes of others. Just do you and be you. I think that that's fun. This will open up a lot of conversation because honestly, we all know what it's like to be yourself and to be your own unique personality. But, but why folk? Why not focus on the others? Why not focus on those around you who are also succeeding or achieving? 

(Matt) Look, I'll be honest, if you guys are listening to this podcast, you're probably not Richard Branson. Now, Richard, if you're listening, please call me. We need to have a conversation. But I feel like it takes a unique person to learn from some of the great ones. Some of the great ones in such a way where they can just turn it right into the action. I feel like one of the things that I struggle with is seen in the successful magazines, the entrepreneur magazines, Forbes Magazines, those kinds of things, the majority of the time they're highlighting the big dogs. And for some people, it takes a unique person, and they are out there, who will learn from them and take action. But for some people, they look at those individuals and think I will never be that. My ideas will never be that good. And unfortunately, we live in a society where we have too many people who love to see other people fail, and they will constantly down you and judge you and harass you based on your ideas. Because somewhere in their mind, they're trying to compare you to somebody who's succeeded great. They just don't think you compare to them. I think that one of the most important things that we need to learn from a mentality standpoint is you just cannot compare yourself to the success of others because ultimately, you might be a one-man band show. You might be helping out one individual, or you may have one client, but are you helping that client? If you're helping that client and that client loves you and they love what you're doing, you don't know what kind of difference you might be making in their lives. So how in the world can you compare your success to an incredible godlike entrepreneur like Richard Branson, who's just untouchable out there? How can you compare that when both of you are making a difference somewhere to someone?

(Brian) I love that. I wanted to touch on a little bit of what Matt just explained and what Jon brought up in this book. And I want to give it to you in the form of an analogy. The analogy comes from the fitness world. I've actually done some bodybuilding shows. My wife does them as well. Anyway, when you're up on stage and the only thing you are doing is comparing each other to your body and to another person's body. It is literally impossible for you to ever look like the person that you look up to and to have the success that they've had. Why? It’s because every single anatomy, every single bone structure, the origin, insertion of muscles, to the bones, is literally impossible to ever recreate. If you can figure out how to clone humans, that is the only way you will ever get to that. So with the people that you look up to, with the success that they have had, you can't have the same thing they have. You have to be you. You have to stop wanting to be other people because we are all very, very different people, different human beings with different genes. Be you and stop trying to be other people. You're more than welcome to look up to their success but don't try to mirror them. Be you. 

(Jon) A lot of people that we work with at Amplified Minds in our accountability program and in our mastermind groups bring us challenges and things that they're facing. A lot of them surprisingly look to others and see somebody that they know having much more success but doing the same things. That frustrates them. It keeps them from actually achieving what they want. I would say to them that you need to find what works for you. You need to find that system and those processes that require action. That's something that we like to talk about a lot is to take action in your own way because there is only going to be one you. Just to reiterate what Brian said, there is only one you. One of my mentors in the Public Relations Society of America once told me to, “stop trying to be like us (other mentors). You need to start to become your own Beyonce.” And I said, “Well, I don't know if I look as good as her but definitely feel like I can own my own stuff.” Uniquely your own kind. One of the greatest swimmers of all time, Michael Phelps, was asked if he saw other competitors looking at him during the race. Phelps said, “Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.” And I just think that's the key part to success, which is to focus on winning, focusing on being you.

(Brian) I think with all of this, it's a little bit hard for us to be able to give you the specific insight of what you're supposed to do. Every single person that's listening to this, it's hard for someone to give very specific information on things like that. You know yourself better than any single person out there. So you know yourself and you know what makes you. It might take a while to actually find out if you haven't found that yet. But it's a lifelong thing. We have our whole life to figure this out. Obviously, the sooner the better. But the instant that you stop mirroring others, and start just being you, you will find out that one thing or the couple things because even that special thing that makes you and why people are going to want to follow you or why people are going to want to listen to you. It's just fascinating stuff that sort of clicks. That's why friendships form. It's because we're different. You attract people for being you. Nobody likes someone that's fake. So don't do that. Let's be ourselves,

(Jon) I would then move to an action and I would like to challenge our listeners to write down five things that you are better at than anyone else. And I want you to write these in a place that you'll see them often. I want you to write down five things that you know that you're the best at. And that could be something as silly as I can brush my teeth better than my sister's. It could be that I can hold my breath longer than most people. It could be that I can be louder in a room full of people. Or it can be as easy as I can write better than most people. But you knowing you is so important. And if you can just identify some of your skills, some of your strengths, the key things that make you will actually take a little bit more action. You’ll learn that you do have some confidence. You do have something that you’re good at. Learn to look at your skills. Learn to look at who you are.

(Matt) I think that's great you guys, we appreciate it. Jon Kovach Jr., Brian Hubbard, myself Matt Fritzsche. We thank you guys for being a part of the COK, the Circle of Knowledge, and we appreciate Mr. Mark Manson for giving us such insight.

Hey, this is Jon with amplified minds. Thanks again for listening to the show. We really hope you enjoyed the Circle of Knowledge podcast. If you like the Circle of Knowledge podcast, go ahead and subscribe or rate us. And if you give us a five-star review, we promise to give you a personal shout-out here on the air. Just watch us. 

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