Don't Fight Back, Fight Forward
?? Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas, CSP?
Certified Speaking Professional? (CSP) 2023 Most Empowering Confidence Coach in North America - 2021 Canadian Presenter of the Year - Conférencière Bilingue - 12x Int. #1 Bestselling Author - CAPS President Elect
I heard this quote and I immediately loved it and wanted to use it... But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this sentence is even better than I thought it was! I ended up coming up with five different lessons we could get from the quote. Keep reading or watch the following video for more...
Lesson #1. You Can Avoid Conflict
If you fight forward instead of fighting back, you can avoid conflict and you can avoid all the gossiping that goes with it. If you don't fight back, you just trust your gut. You trust your instincts and you don't need to dwell into the past and start spreading rumors and fighting back about what happened.
Moving forward allows you to get rid of all the nasty stuff and leave it behind.
Lesson #2. No Guilt Allowed
If you don't fight back, you get rid of all the "should haves", and you get more confident in your own abilities and your instincts when you don't dwell on what you should have done.
Instead of feeling guilty, you can be confident and trust your gut to not repeat the same mistake or avoid that kind of situation, and prepare for it if it ever happens again. This mean you are more likely to be able to focus on being more confident in the future, and you may potentially even take calculated risks and know what to do next without the feeling of guilt that used to come with it.
Lesson #3. Put your Ego Aside
When we fight back, what we are defending is not really the truth or what actually happened. We're trying to defend our own ego. In order to be able to move on, instead of directing your energy backwards, direct your energy towards, proactively, in actions that will move you, propel you forward.
The truth does not need to be defended. Let's say somebody tells you: "Oh, how's your broccoli soup?" And you say: "It's not broccoli, it's cauliflower." "Yeah, that's what I said. I said cauliflower." "No, you said broccoli." And then you start fighting over it. The soup doesn't care if it's called broccoli soup, even if it's cauliflower soup. What we're defending is our own ego. Just think about letting go of your ego. The truth does not need to be defended, so let it go.
Lesson #4. Personal Growth
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Fighting forward implies a growth mindset. Committing to continuous improvement and personal growth rather than getting discouraged or giving up is the key. When you face a setback, approach it as an opportunity to be learning, to move forward, to develop, to get to the next level of your own life journey, which is awesome!
Lesson #5. Be Resilient
When you face adversity or an event or people that caused you grief, instead of getting caught up in negativity or negative emotions or dwelling on the past and fighting back, focus on noticing how resilient you're becoming. Let me explain: Without challenges, you are not going to become resilient, and the next thing will knock you out. If you want to become a good runner, you have to start running on a regular basis, right? Try seeing challenges as an opportunity to move forward.?
If you become good at finding solutions, you become good at moving forward. Just like running, you have to go through the discomfort of the first times before you figure your ideal pace out. Maybe you're out of breath, and yet it's all part of the training. Demonstrate this attitude of being confident in your ability to train for it, so that you become good at handling obstacles and challenges.
Bottom line: Don't fight back, fight forward!
My mission is to shatter the illusions surrounding money, in order to break its hold on people.
1 年I've practiced many martial arts. Some are head to head (literally). While other's use your opponents momentum against them (think Judo, Aikido). But, if someone wants to achieve a bloodless conflict, they should master the skills you detailed in your article.
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1 年A complaint is merely a poorly worded request. If we take a step back, we can see what the other person deeply needs. And we can see that we are more similar than we are different. Beautiful article, Nathalie. Thank you.
Advisor on business growth, marketing strategy, thought leadership, and digital. Author. CEO at Braintrust Professional Institute. Hall of Fame business speaker.
1 年Enjoyed the article. What struck me as I was reading was Sun Tsu's the Art of War, which greatly expands on the points that you bring up. (This classic text is regarded as one of the greatest books on strategy, written in the 5th century BCE.)