Don’t feel bad about feeling bad…or….Hand sanitizer and empathy

My life is very different today than it was even last week. I am sure yours is too. We are all trying to adapt to life in a pandemic.

I was on a call yesterday and a colleague was stressed because she was not in the same place as her beloved dog. She was apologizing for being distracted but it was very important to her, and she admitted she would feel better when she was reunited with her dog. Later, she apologized again and said she thought that her stress was not worthy because so many other people have much more serious issues to deal with right now. Of course I told her that I understood and would feel the same way about my dog (PS – the photo is her on the bottom with her dog – happy reunion today for sure!)

I’ve heard more than a few sentences start lately with “I know I shouldn’t be complaining, but…” and it made me think that in times like this, one person’s challenges may be different than another person’s challenges but they are challenges and they are all valid. They all require empathy.

In difficult times it is absolutely critical that we pack empathy in our bag along with the hand sanitizer and apply them both liberally. I know many of my friends are unhappy that this situation is causing their kids to miss out on the spring musical or final high school baseball season, others are worrying about working from home and home schooling their kids at the same time, or are concerned about their friends in a highly impacted business (foodservice, events, etc.), and all of us are worrying about the older people in our lives. There is no shortage of things to be concerned about – but if you are concerned about something, I believe you should cut yourself some slack and go ahead and be concerned, as long as you are empathetic to the concerns and even grief of others. We all know someone in a worse situation than our own personal situation. Therefore, consider what you might be able to do to assist them, but know that it is still okay to have your own feelings of being overwhelmed.

So, what can you do?

Help those in food insecurity. Gifts to organizations that help get food where it is needed are even more important in times like these (an idea is to start with Feeding America for links to your local services). Staying in touch with friends and neighbors and connecting with your community (albeit virtually – but my phone volume is going up for sure!). Buying a restaurant gift card or ordering takeout to help those in that industry. Listening to your friends and colleagues and being a (virtual) shoulder to lean on. And letting those who say that they shouldn’t be complaining go right ahead and complain.

We will get through this – but it will be a lot easier to do together through understanding, empathy, and an almost devout desire to wash one’s hands.