Don't Fear the Hard Conversations

They usually aren't fun, but they can be the opening to a better place.

Hard conversations - I don’t love them, but they often lead to a much better place.

I started thinking about this again a couple of weeks ago, when Patric Young spoke at Larry Shyatt’s Basketball Clinic and shared the story of Billy Donovan inviting him to transfer when he was playing for Billy at Florida.

Then last week, waiting backstage before an Impact For Living event, I asked Billy about the story.

Billy, now with the Chicago Bulls after winning two national championships at the University of Florida, laughed at the memory. Patric, he related, was his own worst enemy. “He put so much pressure on himself and gave himself such little grace.” After ordering Patric out of a practice (yet again) for letting his frustration turn disruptive, Billy called Patric’s mother, who he’d gotten to know during the recruiting process.

She understood. “She said to just give him a couple of days to get over it, then he’d be back to a better spot. I told her that we had a game tomorrow, and that I needed to figure out if he was going to be with us or not. She laughed and wished me well.”

Billy and Patric had a hard conversation. Not their first, and not their last. Billy suggested that something wasn’t working for Patric in that environment, and that maybe Patric would be better served in a different spot. In other words, transferring to another school.

Patric didn’t want to hear it. He’d grown up 90 miles away in Jacksonville, and had dreamt of attending UF. During the course of the conversation he shared — first that day, and then after with his teammates — of the pressure he felt every time he stepped on the court.

“Ever since I was little - well, young,” said the 6’9”, 240 lb Young, “people have said I’m going to be the next Dwight Howard. And so, when I’m not playing well…”

Billy and Patric’s teammates made it clear that they didn’t need Dwight, but instead needed Patric. Just Patric.

And sure enough, by the time Patric was a senior, that 2013-14 Gator basketball team played with such cohesiveness that they reached the Final Four, were the first team in conference history to go undefeated in SEC play, and won thirty straight games on their way to a 36-3 record.

Together. As a unit, with no first-round NBA draft picks.

But none of it would have happened without those hard conversations along the way. Conversations rooted in:

• Trust (Billy didn’t want Patric to transfer, but cared enough about Patric and his teammates to invite it as an option)
• Vulnerability (Patric admitting to the pressure he’d always felt)
• Caring (accepting Patric as he was)

They aren’t fun, whether on our teams, organizations, or families, but hard conversations are often the gateway to a better place.

As Patric and Billy, who remain close even a decade later, can attest.

Have a great day!

~ Nathan

Now an broadcast analyst with the SEC Network and ESPN, Patric is also a motivational speaker with a truly inspiring story of his journey following a 2022 accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down.

Check him out (and then book him!) here: https://www.patricyoung.com/