Don't Fall for the Tricks of Gaslighting or Imposter Syndrome in Your Company

The concept of imposter syndrome is familiar to many people. It's the idea that you have an internalized sense of being a fraud or not deserving of your success, despite all the evidence that proves otherwise.

It's easy to notice why you might feel this way: if you've been successful at something, it's probably because you've worked hard and are good at it. But it can be hard to reconcile that with the fact that there are other people who are better than you. And sometimes those people seem to get more attention, more recognition, and more opportunities than you do—and when that happens, it can feel like they're getting everything they want while you're constantly being ignored by the world.

In some cases, however, what looks like imposter syndrome isn't really imposter syndrome at all—it's gaslighting.

Imposter syndrome and gaslighting are symptoms of a larger problem: company culture.

It's easy to blame the individual, but in many cases, it is not the individual that needs to change. Company culture can be toxic and lead to imposter syndrome and gaslighting. When we treat our employees with respect and encourage growth, they become more committed to their work and feel less like frauds masquerading as competent people.

Gaslighting is used by some organizations as a way of keeping employees from growing or succeeding by making them doubt their own abilities.

But it's important to remember that gaslighting doesn't have to be intentional: Even if you're not trying to undermine someone's sense of reality if you are unconsciously biased against certain people or groups, your actions may still have a significant impact on their job performance. It can also be done deliberately to hoard opportunities, or because of the fear of being outshined.

The most insidious part of gaslighting is that it's hard for the victim to notice what's happening because gaslighting tends to happen over time and in small increments. The people who use gaslighting are usually good at making things seem normal — they're often charismatic leaders who make others feel special and valued. But underneath the surface, they are controlling and calculating.

You can be perfectly suited for your job and still feel like you're winging it or that you don't belong.

You can be perfectly suited for your job and still feel like you're winging it or that you don't belong. It's a common experience, and it's something that imposters are especially prone to. When our sense of self-worth is tied up with being successful in our jobs, we tend to see every failure as proof that we're not good enough—and that our entire sense of identity is false.

It doesn't help that gaslighting (or "psychological manipulation") is incredibly common in the workplace: if your manager makes unreasonable demands on you and then tells you how lucky you are to have this opportunity rather than acknowledging your hard work, there's no doubt about whose side she'll take when things go wrong (yours).

Here are some signs that you've been gaslit at work:

• You start second-guessing yourself after an interaction with a boss or colleague who insists on doing things their way no matter what the consequences are for anyone else involved in the project
• You feel pressured into agreeing with someone whose ideas aren't working out well for everyone involved but they don't want to listen to anyone else's input
• Your co-workers give each other feedback but don't seem interested in hearing your ideas.
• You notice other people who are just as good as you getting promoted while your boss continues to say "you're not ready."
• You're told that you're too sensitive, even though you know something's wrong.
• You're blamed for things beyond your control, like other people's mistakes or an organization's systemic failure.
• Your ideas are ignored until they're repackaged by someone else and then everyone agrees they're good ideas.

The roots of imposter syndrome and gaslighting are in company culture.

Company culture is a reflection of the values of the organization. It's influenced by how people are treated and how they treat each other; influenced by the way people are rewarded and promoted.

Imposter syndrome is a symptom of an unhealthy company culture, one where employees feel like they don't belong or that their contributions aren't valued because they don't fit into some arbitrary definition of success (often defined by white men).

Gaslighting is another sign that something is wrong with your company's culture: gaslighting takes place when someone (usually someone in power) makes you question your own perceptions and experiences, making you doubt yourself so much that you'll do whatever they want just to make them stop asking questions about what happened. You don't know what happened, but it felt like something bad—so bad that if someone powerful tells you it didn't happen at all then maybe it didn't? And then maybe this whole thing isn't as bad as you thought after all...

It is important for everyone to be aware of imposter syndrome and gaslighting in the workplace, and what can be done to improve work culture.

Imposter syndrome and gaslighting can be devastating to a person's self-esteem, productivity and confidence. It is important for everyone to be aware of imposter syndrome and gaslighting in the workplace, and what can be done to improve work culture.

There are many ways to deal with imposter syndrome or gaslighting in your workplace, but it takes more than just one person changing their behavior. Everyone has a part in improving work culture by being mindful of their own actions, recognizing when they contribute to an unhealthy dynamic (even if unintentionally), speaking up about it when appropriate, etc.

If you're in an organization where you feel like you're being gaslighted, there are steps you can take:

First, try to remember that it's not your fault.?You are not crazy. You are not imagining things. There is a reason that other people aren't seeing what you see, and that reason is that they don't want to see i

1. Don't try to convince the person who is doing it that they are wrong. Instead, try to focus on what you are feeling and thinking about a situation instead of focusing on whether or not the other person was right about something.
2. Document everything! Document the behavior and try to put it in context for yourself so that it doesn't feel like it's all about you—because it isn't! This is about the organization and its culture.
3. Take notes on dates and times when things happened and document any conversations or interactions that were upsetting or confusing to you. This will help build a case for what's going on if necessary. Keep a record of all the instances where you feel like your concerns are being dismissed or minimized.
4. Make a list of all the ways that people are trying to make you feel as if what you think is wrong. This may include comments like "I'm not sure how much experience you have," or "Are you sure?" Look at the list critically—are there any patterns? If so, what do they mean? How are they affecting your ability to succeed?
5. Don't believe everything you hear. Be skeptical of what other people say and do, especially if they're trying to convince you that something is true when it isn't.
6. Trust your instincts and feelings. If something feels wrong, even if someone else tells you otherwise, trust yourself.
7. Find allies in the organization—people who will support your side of the story, who will listen to your concerns, and who will help you find evidence that supports your point of view.
8. If you can't find allies, talk with people who aren't involved in the situation – friends, family members, and even people at work who don't know about the situation. It can be helpful to get an outside perspective on things before deciding how to proceed.
9. Journal! Write down how you feel in response to the gaslighting so that when you look back on it later, you'll remember what was happening and why it made sense at the time.

How to Improve Work Culture

Listen closely to what your team members say, especially when they bring up problems with the company's culture or processes

• First, take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself if you are guilty of gaslighting others around you. If so, try to find ways that you can change this behavior. For example, do you often talk down to or belittle other people's ideas? If so, perhaps try giving them more credit for their ideas. Maybe you're the type of person that likes to always be right and always has the last word in an argument even if it means making someone else look inept or wrong. Maybe try being more open to other people's opinions and perspectives before making any decisions or comments about them.
• Be aware of bias and privilege in yourself, and look for ways you might be contributing to gaslighting others. If someone is doing something that you think looks good, but everyone else seems like they don't trust them (or at least aren't willing to give them a chance), take the time to talk with them about the project and see if there's any way you can help them succeed.

Understand the roots of imposter syndrome and gaslighting. As a culture, we teach women that they should always be polite and accommodating—and never let their emotions show—which can lead to emotional labor. This is part of why male co-workers may also dismiss your feelings as being "oversensitive."

We teach people of color that it's impossible to be angry without being aggressive, which leads them to believe that they need to suppress their feelings in order to fit into white spaces.

• Understand how to improve work culture. Look out for warning signs that someone might be experiencing gaslighting or other forms of mental health issues at work; if you notice those signs, reach out with compassion rather than judgment.
• Look closely at your upper-level management: Are they guilty of gaslighting as well? If so, how can you help them change their behavior? Are there any tools or resources available for them so that they can learn how not to engage in this destructive behavior anymore? Try talking with them about what they could do differently when dealing with employees instead of just telling them outright (this will help keep things calm).

Finally, work with a consulting agency that specializes in company culture and employee experience.?

At Curious Culture, we work with companies to leverage the power of curiosity to build more inclusive work cultures—and it's what sets us apart from other consulting agencies.

We don't just provide you with tools and strategies for improving your company culture; we also give you the tools you need to make those strategies stick. We'll help you develop an employee experience strategy that helps everyone see themselves as important members of your team, and then we'll work with you on implementing that strategy so that it actually works.