Don't Drink That Free Cup of Coffee

Bias #6 Reciprocity Bias

Definition:

The Association of Qualitative Research defines Reciprocity bias as an impulse to reciprocate actions others have done towards us. The desire to return favors, pay back debts and treat others well could have been a decisive evolutionary advantage for humans as it engenders cooperation.

Author Robert Cialdini (Ph.D.) defines reciprocation tendency as the automatic tendency for humans to try to reciprocate in kind what others have done for us.

Where it Occurs:

A bias towards reciprocation exists as all things exist. It is a product of natural selection.

We have seen through evolution of species that which can come together and cooperate to share food, shelter, and protection from other species would surely have an edge, within their selected environment.

This obligation to give, obligation to receive, and obligation to repay, as Cialdini puts it, has been a tremendous advantage at the species level.

This trait has created in humans an intense psychological state of obligation: we hate it. If someone does us a favor, we feel like we owe them, and will often go to great lengths to repay the debt that’s owed as quickly as possible.

Cialdini says there is also a strong external pressure to pay debts that are owed. People who are “free-loaders” are shamed by the larger social group for not living up to the unwritten rule of reciprocation.

Examples:

#1 Has a car salesman ever offered you a cup of coffee or a glass of water upon entering the dealership? Have you been handed a free sample of a product as a gift? These small acts are meant to initiate reciprocation tendency: your tendency to reciprocate the favors, disfavor, and concessions of others.

#2 In his book Influence, Cialdini describes the story of an Indian supermarket operator who sold one thousand pounds of cheese in a few hours simply by inviting customers to cut off slices for themselves as free samples.

Be very careful who you take favors from. Despite your efforts, you will feel obligated to return the favor. And there’s no guarantee it will be on the same scale as the one you received. That’s why donuts and coffee sell cars (Thomas @TWaschenfelder in X)

#3 The ugly side of reciprocity is retaliation. Revenge breeds counter revenge and one find themselves in full-scale war. Jesus preached that we should turn out other cheek, but it proved to be very difficult.

#4 Accepting a free drink or sample in supermarket makes us end up with refrigerator full of stuffs which we don't even eat.

Conclusion:

You could consider playing around with the below tactics to see how they work in your professional and personal life. Be subtle and sincere. And see what happens.

#1 Take your time to reflect: Before responding to a favor, give yourself time to process the situation and consider if the gesture truly warrants a reciprocal action.

#2 Assess the intention of the giver: Evaluate whether the person is genuinely offering you a favor or using it as a mere tactic to manipulate you.

#3 Set your boundaries: Be assertive in declining and be clear of your comfort level to accept any favors.

#4 Consider the value of the favor: Evaluate the value of the favor received against the potential cost of reciprocating the favor back.

#5 Be mindful of your emotions: Recognize when you feel pressured to reciprocate due to guilt or obligation.?

#6 Open Communication: If you are unconfirmable, communicate openly rather than carrying the guilt around for ever.

#7 Focus on real relationships: Prioritize relationships where giving and receiving is balanced and not driven by the need to constantly reciprocate.