DON'T BE DEFEATED BY DEFEAT

               Everybody hates to lose, it’s a natural human response to competition. When we compete in something, whether it be in sport, debate, pageant, or business, we do our best and strive to achieve the top. But in every competition, there is someone who wins and someone who doesn’t. And while the winner celebrates, the loser has a choice. They can either wallow in their misery or learn from their experience.

           The easiest thing to do after a loss is to do nothing at all. We can pack up all our belongings and walk dejectedly back to our cars to go home and crawl under our comforter to sleep our misery away. Or we can pick ourselves off the floor, dust off the grime, congratulate the winner, and begin to prepare for the next match.

           I’ve had my share of defeat, and it’s happened more times than I would have liked. That being so, I could have let each loss devastate me, however, I’ve learned how to take each defeat as a lesson in life and seek out the opportunities that present themselves in the experience.

           Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, has a great lesson on how our outcomes are influenced by how we react to events in our lives. He states that as events occur in our lives, how we chose to respond to them will dictate how it will affect us. So, if we lose a game and we take it as a sign that we’ll never win, guess what would most likely happen the next time? But I also have to warn that if the event is that you win the contest and your response is that you let it get to your head, your outcome may not be satisfying, and if and when you do lose, it may be devastating. Think about it.

           If you let defeat deflate you to the point of questioning your ability to win, you don’t permit yourself to analyze what just happened. I lost – why?

           What could I have done better? What do I need to work on? What do I need to study? What more do I need to do? How can I give myself a better chance at winning? These are just several of the questions that you may want to ask yourself to transform the loss into a learning experience.

           I haven't included any question concerning other people, and you shouldn’t either. Don’t blame other people for your loss, and don’t expect others to do what you need to do to win. Blaming others does nothing to help you improve as a competitor or a person. Blaming is just an excuse and not a reason why you lost. And the reason can only be appreciated if you are ready to learn from it.

           Don’t get me wrong, losing sucks, and if you allow the experience to define your life, it will. Losing provides a great opportunity to learn about yourself, your abilities, your strengths, your weaknesses, your drive, and your determination. Let the hurt from the defeat fuel your desire to succeed, don’t let it douse your dreams.

           Don’t be defeated by defeat.