Don't Dangle Your Modifiers!
That tag line sounds nasty. And so it should! Dangling modifiers (often identified as DM in editorial notations; apologies to all the Dungeon Masters out there) are a serious problem in modern communication, and, sadly, I see them in print and hear them on the radio all too frequently. Wondering what they are and how to fix them? Look no further.
First, what's a modifier? "Modifier" is grammar-speak for "descriptor." If a word or phrase is describing or modifying something, you need it to be clear exactly what is being modified. The best way is to put the modifier right beside what you're describing; in fact, the modifying word or phrase in your sentence will be understood to modify what it's next to, even if it doesn't--and therein lies the problem.
Here's my favorite example from class, which all my students remember (with amusement or horror), and I'll bet you can tell what's wrong with it:
Barking loudly, Deborah restrained her dog.
Who's doing the barking? Well, it should be the dog, but in this case, alas, it is I! (Anyone who thinks that should be "It's me!" will be interested in reading my next post to find out why it's not)...
The subject of the sentence, following the comma after the introductory phrase, is by default the person, place or thing that the modifying phrase describes. Look at these examples and see if you can diagnose the problem:
Walking across campus last night, the tall buildings looked frightening.
Snoring on the couch after a hard day at the office and three board meetings, the cat licked my face until I woke up.
Scratching each other playfully, we watched the monkeys at the zoo.
And here's one from a real advertisement from a few years back:
Crispy and delicious, your kids will love [insert name of famous chicken product here].
Geez, did they think the kids were crispy and delicious? Apparently so! It boggles my mind that some bozo got paid to write that ad. But now at least I have the comfort of thinking that you, dear reader, won't commit this heinous atrocity, and can chuckle in a superior manner when others do.
What's the take-away here? Eat some chicken, bark like a dog, and always listen to the Dungeon Master. I'm glad we got that sorted out.
Here's a link to a great Business Writing course that covers this and other thrilling aspects of grammar and style:
Business Writing Essentials at UBC Robson
And here's the link to my writing text:
Cheers!