Don’t Be a Collector, Be a Connector

When attending a networking event, it's easy to fall into the trap of simply collecting business cards and firing off your elevator pitch to as many people as possible. However, this approach can do more harm than good, leaving potential connections feeling spammed and disengaged. True networking isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality. It's about building relationships, not collecting contacts.

Nobody Enjoys Being Spammed

Let’s face it, nobody likes being spammed with sales pitches, especially during a networking event. When you bombard people with information about yourself or your business without taking the time to understand who they are, it’s likely to push them away. Instead of making a meaningful connection, you risk leaving a negative impression that might be hard to reverse.

Networking events are opportunities to create lasting relationships, not just to collect names and numbers. If your goal is to build a solid network, it’s crucial to shift your focus from "collecting" to "connecting."

Rapport is Built by Listening

One of the most powerful ways to build rapport is not by talking, but by listening. When you take the time to genuinely listen to someone, you show that you value their thoughts, their business, and their goals. People are far more likely to feel "heard and understood" when you ask them questions about who they are and who they’re looking to connect with.

Listening isn’t just about being polite—it’s the foundation of forming a connection. When you listen to someone, you’re learning about their needs, their challenges, and what might help them succeed. This information allows you to be more than just a name they met at an event; it positions you as someone who cares and can potentially offer value.

Be a Connector, Not a Collector

Once you’ve built rapport by listening and understanding someone’s business, you can take the next step and connect them with others who would be beneficial for them to meet. This is where the real magic of networking happens. By acting as a connector, you become a valuable resource, the person who helps others form important relationships. People will remember you not because you pitched them a product or service, but because you added value to their network.

When you connect others to potential power partners, you stay top of mind. People appreciate introductions that help their business grow or open new opportunities, and they’ll likely think of you when they’re in a position to return the favor. In essence, you become the source of valuable connections—a role that establishes you as someone who can be trusted and respected in your network.

Avoid Transactional Relationships

When people feel like they are "being collected"—that is, when the interaction feels like just another quick exchange of information—it often leads to a shallow, transactional relationship. These surface-level connections rarely result in meaningful business or long-term collaboration. Nobody wants to feel like a name on a list or just another contact in someone’s database.

Instead, by focusing on building authentic relationships, where both parties feel heard, understood, and supported, you set the foundation for lasting and mutually beneficial connections. When you approach networking with the goal of connecting rather than collecting, you open the door to deeper, more meaningful relationships that go beyond a simple transaction.

Conclusion

The key to successful networking isn’t in the number of business cards you collect, but in the connections you make. Listening to others, learning about their needs, and offering value through introductions and connections will make you stand out in any room. Don't be a collector of business cards—be a connector of people. By focusing on building relationships, you will not only expand your network but also position yourself as a trusted resource who adds real value to others.

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- Alan Stern