Don't Change You, Master You

For a long time, I tried to silence myself. People often thought I was too vocal; I always had something to say. In meetings, I would hear the same feedback: "Kofi, you need to stop talking so much." For a while, I took this to heart and tried to change. I thought I needed to become quieter, to blend in with those around me who didn’t talk as much. But trying to change my nature only made me feel inauthentic and stifled.

One day, I had a realization. The sun and the moon both have their unique roles. The sun shines brightly during the day, providing light, warmth, and energy. The moon, though quieter, illuminates the night with its gentle glow. Each has its purpose, and one doesn't need to change to be like the other. I realized I was trying to be the moon when I was meant to be the sun.

Embracing My Natural Tendencies

Instead of silencing my voice, I decided to master it. I embraced my nature and focused on using it in a way that was helpful and empowering to others. In meetings, I remind myself to listen to others, but if no one is willing to take the lead, I start the conversation. I share what is worth their time and then make a conscious effort to listen.

Encouraging Participation

As a flight commander in the U.S. Air Force, I make it a point to directly invite team members to share their thoughts. I might point to someone and ask, "Hey, what do you think?" This approach empowers them to speak up and gives them the floor to express themselves. Over time, I’ve seen significant changes. People who used to be quiet now take the initiative to talk during meetings without being prompted. They feel more confident and know their ideas are valued.

Creating a Safe Space for Ideas

I also encourage my team to understand that there’s no such thing as a dumb idea. When someone brings up a suggestion, we listen and respect their perspective. This approach fosters a safe environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts without fear of ridicule.

Handling Impractical Ideas

When an idea isn't feasible or practical, I handle the situation with respect. I listen carefully and explain why it may not work, fostering a culture of learning and continuous improvement. This way, even impractical ideas become valuable learning experiences.

Mastering your natural tendencies, rather than trying to change them, leads to personal growth and stronger team dynamics. Just as the sun and the moon each have their unique roles, so do we. By creating an environment of respect, encouragement, and open communication, we can inspire confidence and creativity in ourselves and those around us. Remember, don’t change you, master you. Dimming your light to fit in does not serve the world nor yourself. The world and yourself are better served when you shine to the brightest of your light. Embrace your uniqueness, and let it illuminate the world in ways you never imagined.

For more writing and publishing tips follow us on LinkedIn at https://www.dhirubhai.net/company/flying-wings-books