Don't Call Me Boss

Ever since I began managing, one word has always scared me. Boss.

It terrifies me. If one of my employees calls me that, I immediately think I’ve done something wrong. Why? Because in my opinion “Boss” amplifies the organizational pecking order and demeans a manager-employee relationship. The relationship between an employee and a manager should have extraordinary meaning. Let me explain.

When I first started in advertising, I had to learn an absolute shit-ton, and fast. As a massively confused young professional, I drove my manager nuts with my constant questions. Six months in, everything turned a corner, and I finally started coming into my own. But when the economy crashed in 2009, a company shift and employee layoffs left me in my department all alone.

As someone with a built-in entrepreneurial spirit, a part of me loved the new arrangement. But there was one huge missing piece. I missed having someone pushing me out of my comfort zone, teaching me and protecting me from the large organizational hurdles that I didn’t fully grasp. I needed a mentor.

Every employee needs a mentor in the beginning. A mentor acts as a guiding light and a driving force through new and unfamiliar places. I needed that. Although I had people to answer questions, I didn’t have anyone pushing me. And as a young professional who actually gave a shit about my career, I grew frustrated.

This void crushed me for a year and a half. At the lowest point, I felt like I had lost my way. I doubted my role in the industry, my ability to work cross-functionally and my capacity to lead. I thought about completely changing my path in advertising, or moving to LA and becoming an actor or a comedian, or doing something drastic like becoming a sherpa. In short, it wouldn’t have taken much to redirect me to a familiar level of sanity.

Frustration boiled over, and I left that job for a new company where I became a manager. At that point, I made a promise to myself that I will keep until the day I die:

My employees will always take precedence, and it’s my responsibility to take care of them and turn them into the best working professionals they can be.

To me, my employees aren’t people who work for me. They’re an extension of my family, my work children, and it’s my duty as their manager to see them succeed. End of story.

I firmly believe that employee development parallels child development. As a parent, you care for your child’s well-being and development, doing what you can to help them succeed. Of course, success takes many shapes throughout a childhood, from not wetting the bed to graduating high school. You guide and correct them as law-abiding citizens, and you’re proud as hell when you see them become flourishing young adults who have completely stopped throwing up on themselves – excluding the college years, of course.

And success takes many shapes for an employee, like personal growth in knowledge, the successful completion of a project or having a positive impact on a company's production in general. Your success as a manager will rely greatly on the people that work for you. On the other side of that coin, you can make or break a young professional's entire career. As managers, we must make sure they have food on the table, their reports turned in on time and their minds open to the world of possibilities.

I’ve had great success and even the occasional failure with my work-children. They can’t all be saved, and I fault myself as well with some of my parenting efforts. But watching my employees grow as professionals have given me many of my proudest moments professionally.

All managers should hold themselves responsible for their employees’ future successes, whether you’ve only started managing or have done so for years. The best teams push themselves and continue to learn, and the people who work with you, not just for you, will always be your best asset. When I pushed my teams out of their comfort zones, and when they knew I did it to help them grow, our work came with exceptional results. We all enjoyed working together in an upbeat and collaborative environment. And of course, we all continued to learn and grow, including me.

A happy family is a healthy family.

I firmly believe our employee’s parents put their children’s lives in our hands for the chapter of their lives titled “Career.” Take ownership and hold yourself accountable and responsible. Protect, mentor and educate.

At one of my stops along my career path, all the pieces fell into place. We truly built a family atmosphere, and the work we did was the best I’ve ever seen. I knew we had it nailed down when I never heard anyone call me “Boss.” Instead, they jokingly referred to me as “Dad.”