Don't Beat Your Children

Growing up in an era when parents were allowed to hit their children; it was justified when it happened. Verbal abuse is another story altogether. The biggest lie adults tell children is "Stick and stones may break my bones. Words will never hurt me."

I have had broken bones. They heal. Adults who treated me like I was total garbage out of one side of their mouths and out of the other side of their mouths told me not to commit suicide (if I were as bad as they claimed wouldn't that be the logical course of action?) had issues. The main one was the other kind of beating.

In competition. Life is not a competition. If you make "Only" nine hundred thousand dollars when you were trying to make a million it is money you can deposit and enjoy. The chasm in my life was adults acted superior to me.

Maybe that is why I never acted like a big deal on social media. I am not, really. Doing my thing. I don't know why my father had to compete with a small child. Did he win? It did not happened while playing games like cards or Monopoly. Don't get him on the basketball court.

He was on the high school basketball team and assumed I would be a respectable basketball player. I could never run fast so most sports were negated. I even sucked at bowling. Volleyball was a sport I played well. There were not enough opportunities.

It made me less competitive. I did well in the martial arts. That is about individual achievement so it killed his team sports fantasies. He proved he was superior in the moment. What did that prove?

Not much. My sister is twelve years younger. I fell into some bad habits reprimanding her. That is not good. I certainly did not act superior to a baby. Break the cycle. I knew I was not having children at a young age.

It seemed like people had children so they could berate someone as they were berated by their parents. The buck stops here. Some bloodlines do not need to continue. Before another baby came into the picture I had visions of adopting a child.

That is a strange place to start. Any baby desires were satiated by The World's Greatest Baby. There was enough distance that we could not be compared to each other. Maybe parents should have children at eight to ten year intervals.

No one is starting a relationship with me so the point is moot. There is no reason to raise children as inferiors. Are they going to grow up to feel inferior? That is not going to lead to success. Is it better than the ones who think their children are perfect angels who can do no wrong?

Adults acted like no child could be derogatory. Quite the contrary. Bad behavior is not age specific. Were all adults nice to my parents? No. My parents were more accommodating to others. They were never treated as well by relatives and friends as they should have been.

So much for "You get what you give." This might have been a factor in my relationships. I went out my way for others. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. Showing my sister a different approach, taking her at face value, led her to have more reasonable relationships. She has more equality with a wide array of friends who have been in her life a long time. That is what happens when you stop competing with the young generation and let them grow at their own pace.