Don't Avoid "The Talk"!

As Long-Term Care Awareness Month begins, I wanted to share a personal experience and stress the importance of proactive long-term care planning. Though aging can be a sensitive topic to discuss with our parents, it takes planning to help them stay where they want - in their homes. My eighty-six-year-old mother embodies the desire to age in place. She treasures her home, filled with her memories and cherished possessions. Each room tells a story, through my father's antiques to numerous family mementos.?

Despite her age, my mother has remained remarkably independent; however, in the last three years, it’s become clear she needed extra support to live safely at home. Even with my life and long-term care insurance background, we were not fully prepared for this. ?

Our family gradually realized the significant emotional and financial gaps in self-funding her care. We underestimated the toll coordinating care has on caregivers and relationships. At first, providing services needed to stay at home was simple by ensuring the house was adapted as care needs progressed. We made small modifications, such as installing grab bars in the bathroom and ensuring that her home was free of tripping hazards, to establishing grocery delivery (we became Instacart’s top customer). These services made a significant difference for our entire family.? In the beginning, each of us ran errands, prepared for doctor’s appointments, and provided companionship. She always had someone to rely on.?

Over time, as her care needs grew, we brought in private home health care services for physical therapy, cleaning, and medication administration. However, living alone was taking a toll on her emotional health and accelerated her cognitive decline, anxiety, and depression, despite professional home healthcare.?

With our collective efforts, my mom was able to stay in her own home until eighty-six. We learned how aging in place preserves dignity and independence. As members of the "sandwich generation," we were challenged with balancing our kids' activities, college visits, and personal careers. It became clear that assisted living would be necessary to manage her care and emotional needs.???

Find out more on how to start the conversation: Sandwiched! On This Episode:? Supporting Aging Parents & Children.???

Without a formalized long-term care plan, caregivers often experience emotional and financial stress. Achieving family consensus and evenly distributing efforts requires patience. Families often underestimate challenges such as funding assisted living, persuading parents to move, choosing an appropriate facility, managing finances and legal issues, and coordinating tasks like scheduling visits and maintaining cherished activities. What may seem like the smallest tasks require intention and coordination, such as ensuring she has a headband for every outfit or how will she enjoy her annual lobster roll—small things that bring joy.? In other words, helping her continue to live the life she enjoys.?

Discussing long-term care plans and finding funding solutions prior to needing care provides families with more options, less friction and the ability to share desires for the future. Planning can help ensure access to proper care, supports collaborative decisions and reduces emotional and financial strain. It allows loved ones to spend more quality time together during an important stage of life, emphasizing the need for early discussions and steps for proper planning.?

Educate yourself about LTC cost-of-care ?, understand your options to pay for them, and discuss with your family and a planning professional today!

Aging is part of life. Don't avoid "The Talk"!?

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