Don't Ask Questions

This is the newsletter where I expect people to reflexively hit the unsubscribe button because, clearly, most of the job of an HR person is to ask questions! We could never get anything done if we didn't ask questions!

And not asking questions can land you in legal hot water if you're obligated to conduct an investigation.

But hold off on the unsubscribe because I'll explain.

We've talked about the principle of "yes, and" in improv and in HR. Now it's time to move on to the second principle: Service.

What service means

Service, in its most basic form, is the act of making things easier for other people. If I do an act of service, it is to make your life easier. If it does not make your life easier, it was not an act of service.

For instance, when my second child was born, my mother-in-law came to "help." She told my firstborn that grandma was here and they were going to make pudding! How exciting! Pudding. Chocolate! Offspring #1 was bouncing off the walls with excitement.

Then Grandma declared that, oops, it was the type of pudding you have to cook, and she doesn't know how to do that, so "Suzanne, you make the pudding. I'll take the baby."

This pretended to be an act of service when, in fact, it was not. (She's generally an excellent grandmother, even if she can't make pudding.)

A lot of HR is service-based. We are trying to make employees' lives easier. All that coaching? It's not for our own good, it's for the employees'.

What do questions have to do with service?

In improv, we try not to ask our ensemble members questions because it transfers the work from us to them. So, when I say to you, "What a lovely cat you're holding" I've done the work of identifying what you're holding, making it easier for you.

If I ask, "What are you holding?" then you have to come up with something that is your arms. Is it a thing? A baby? An animal? Something pretty? Something gross? I've left a whole bunch of options open for you.

Making a statement, rather than asking a question, is a kindness in the world of improv. An act of service.

But what about in the world of HR? Shouldn't I ask as many questions as possible? Let the employee say what they want?

Well, no.

Not all the time.

Let's talk about hiring. If the recruiter asks a candidate, "What's your salary target?" that places the pressure on the candidate. The candidate doesn't want to say something too high and be eliminated but doesn't want to say something too low and end up being low-balled.

The kind act? The act of service? It's to make a statement: "This job has a salary range between $65-$80k." That is a kindness.

Another example:

An employee comes to you and complains that their manager is sexually harassing them. You can ask a question, "What would you like me to do?" And that puts pressure on the employee. You're putting the responsibility of deciding how to handle an alleged case of sexual harassment on the employee, even though you don't really mean to.

Instead, try. "Thank you for telling me. Let me go through the next steps with you..."

You can also present options. "This is a serious accusation, and I want you to feel safe at work. Here are three options for you..."

You've relieved some of the pressure. Reporting sexual harassment is hard enough without extra pressure.

But I have to ask questions!

Of course, you do. When you're conducting an investigation, you will ask a lot of questions. When you are trying to learn something new, you will ask a lot of questions. That is part of the job and completely necessary.

But offering acts of service when you can make life better for everyone. Even you.

Why? Because when you give options, you're less likely to have to shoot down crazy suggestions from your staff. Your options set boundaries.

Happy Tuesday! And keep "yes, and-ing."

Suzanne