Don't Ask How. Ask Why.

I've read a hundred articles (at least it feels like that) talking about how we can get through this time. They are all packed with great tips like developing a routine, managing your mental health, or embracing a hobby. Those fall into the how camp of the equation, but what about the why? That is a question that most people aren't asking. Why do we have to accept this new normal? Why should we create a new routine? Why do we have to adjust our timeline to fit the world we live in now? I'll spare you the second-grader speech littered with constant questions.

Dust in the Wind

The interesting thing is that my teenage daughter reverted to that "Why" mindset this past week with a little push. She is at an age where she seemingly knows more than her parents. She fills our conversations with short answers that offer no way for me to peek inside her psyche. That was until last week when she realized that life was over as she knew it.

This was my chance to let her know that dear old dad does know a thing or two. We sat down at the dinner table with the waterworks on full display. My daughter then explained that COVID-19 had ruined everything. Her track season is gone. Her prom is like the old Kansas hit "Dust in the Wind." She can't take any college visits. She took the negative stance on this situation we're in and surmised that EVERYTHING is gone. She wasn't thinking about the why.

That's a natural deduction to make if you are a seventeen-year-old who thrives on a schedule and timelines. It is even more comfortable if you're a 43-year-old who spent 21 years on schedule with Uncle Sam. Everyone is finding out how to deal with this situation. That is where those tips I mentioned earlier come into play (just Google WFH COVID-19 Tips). But I ask again, why are we turning our lives upside down to fight an invisible enemy that might affect our psyches more than our schedules? 

Semper Gumby

There is a common phrase in the Air Force, "The key to airpower is flexibility." My Marine friends call it "Semper Gumby." That outlook is one of those things that I've embraced. Especially during this COVID-19 self-quarantine, six feet away, new normal. All of these guidelines remind me of my first few weeks in the military. Numerous people were unable to adapt, adjust, or acclimate to a new normal 23 years ago in basic training.

Military careers start with rules and regulations by firehose. Drill Sergeants delivered the message loud and clear, "Stand like this, wear this, and walk this way." The similarities are uncanny. In a way, many of us received our new marching orders with this current situation the same way as Airman Pedro did over two decades ago (just with calmer tones). This time, the message is, "Stay home, practice social distancing, wear a facemask, only go to the grocery store or pharmacy." That is a tough ask for most people.

The ability to adjust to our surroundings, whether we are at basic military training, our homes or in the workplace is paramount to our success. If we don't find ways to alter our schedules and rhythms, we won't have the opportunity to hone our flexibility. When we are rigid in our decisions in business and life, we might mitigate a little risk, but the speedbumps and curveballs that come our way now turn into catastrophic events. All because we could not flex and adjust. If we don't embrace this new normal, we will never have the chance to call it normal. 

Lessons Learned

Back at the dinner table with my daughter. I took a deep breath and explained that "I don't have the answers to bring the exhilaration you feel when competing in the 3200-meter run or the fun of getting dressed up for a school dance. I can't tell you how to bring those things back or even how to deal with the disappointment of losing them. That is something you have to figure out. But I can tell you why we need to embrace this new world we live in today." It was at that moment where I felt like the teenager who knew everything was ready to listen and maybe adapt.