Don't be ashamed by who you are, your illness does not define you...

#postyourpills

So I always debate whether to post on LinkedIn about what some people would regard as "non-work" matters but this is work, or it was work that ultimately made me ill. From my experience in my own little LI world, a few people have responded with positive feedback when I open up about my issues so I thought it was ok to do so again.

This is not about bearing my soul or throwing the doors open to my issues but what is about is sharing the fact that it really is ok to look at yourself in the mirror and not hate yourself for having poor mental health. I am no psychologist or anything clever in the health world, I am though somebody that suffers from clinical depression and severe anxiety disorder, and to be blunt it is crap!...

I hate being ill, I hate the impact it has on both those close to me and myself but I no longer hate myself which is a massive positive step.

I did though, for many, many years, these feelings of inadequacy from both a capability and personal aspect used against me to profit and benefit others around and above me. Whinging you may say, and you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but this was exploitation and bullying of the highest order, not particularly subtle either, much to my continued and everlasting shame for 1. not recognising it and 2. for being a complete and utter coward by not standing up for myself.

So why post today on Monday 4th April, no idea to be honest, I saw that Lewis Hamilton had publicised his own challenges, I saw the attached picture from Andy Man Club and it resonated with me for obvious reasons, I read post after post about people struggling with a multitude of mental health issues, I see brave people prepared to "come out" and hence the #postthepills photo, and I see lots of organisations seeing an opportunity to tick the "we look after our employees" box.

I think there are some great organisations and institutes out there who do some incredibly positive things for people like me, for people like those of you reading this, I also see some that are just seeing it as an "Ego Trip" to further enhance whatever reputation they feel they have in their respective markets.

The photo of my tablets is not to engender sympathy but simply awareness, depression and anxiety for me have caused other issues, not directly linked maybe but they are there.

So look, if you are suffering from any form of mental ill-health, please, please do not be like me and ignore it, try and hide it, pretend that it is all part of "normal" life, and do not let anybody push you around just because they think they have the power to do so.

There are some incredible people out there who can help you, some great organisations and excellent coping mechanisms.

I am a very lucky person, I regard myself as the luckiest person ever to be where I am now and with who and what I have around me, I am not ashamed of me, I am not ashamed that I am ill, I am not ok every day but I am also not poorly everyday, everything (to me) is about the recognition and acceptance of who we are. I am lucky, I feel I can speak out now, there is nothing to stop me doing so, although I appreciate that many people are not in that position.

So, please, I would simply ask two things:-

1. Be kind to yourself
2. Be kind to others, we simply did not know whatever is going on in their lives or their minds.

Should you feel you do not wish to remain connected to me following this and previous posts, I fully understand and I will not resent anybody from removing me as a connection.

RIP Chester

RIP Robin