Don't be ambitious, unless...

I am aggressively ambitious. (If I may say so about myself :)) You may wonder, what is wrong about it, aren't most of us ambitious. Isn't it a good thing? There is nothing wrong in it, but being ambitious is good only if one can skillfully manage the disappointments that come along with it. If one is ambitious but cannot handle failures and setbacks then one can be sure it is a recipe for disaster and the direct pathway to the bottom of the bottomless pit!

Basically, when you are ambitious, you desire for things you may (or may not) deserve and desire more often than not usually leads to disappointments(even when you are deserving). Let us face it, what are the odds that all your efforts and hard work gives the results/outcome that it (us) deserves all the time. There are always external factors and environments outside the circle of influence and control and nothing can be done about it.

It happens in all levels. Think about a Senior exec, primed to be the CEO but loses out for a lot of reasons, think about employees who thought they will make a good fortune with a IPO but their entire sector is in trouble due to the pandemic.

So how to manage disappointments? Well, some are blessed enough to have the mindset recommended by Rudyard Kipling. Yes, they treat both success and failure as same, the impostors. However not many of us are blessed that way. For mortal folks like us, there are different strategies, frameworks, tool kits and techniques to manage disappointments and what would actually work for one is unique to the person and the context.

So what works for me?

Few years back, I was super upset with something and I was ranting and rambling to one of my good friend. Figuring out, I am not going to stop anytime soon, he stopped me midway and asked, "Do you remember what was your expectation when we started the college? Do you remember what was your expectation when you got the first job? What was your expectations 5 year back?"

He is someone who is well aware of me. He knew my expectations, progress and the journey. Fortunately, to me, despite the frequent failures on a short term basis, I have been doing good on a long term basis (Probably, I fuss a lot over short term, or I do have low expectations for me in long term :P or may be I aim too high and hence despite my perceived failures, I do better) So nowadays, whenever, I face a set back,(Nope, I don't call him, at least not to rant. I have found other new friends to rant) I take a look back, think back about my set backs, and say to myself, if I could manage that, may be I will manage this too. I also do think how the set back was a blessing in disguise and helped me with other better opportunities and think may be there will be other better opportunities. Sometime in to the reflective mode and mood, I start feeling glad, happy and proud on how far I have progressed.

Long story short, whenever there is a failure or disappointment, it is okay to feel bad or fuss about it for a day or two. May be even a week or so. After that, bring out your own unique tool kit or framework to manage the failure, setback, disappointment, whatever you want to call it. Being ambitious alone will not lead you to success, being prepared to face the challenges that comes along with being ambitious will bring success to you.