A Dominant person can only Rule but not Lead

Build a Growth Mindset and Discover the Power of True Confidence

Actionable strategies and techniques that are easy to understand and apply in real life.

Working with a dominant personality is not fun, but sometimes avoiding them is not an option either. When you can’t avoid or quit, what should you do? Learn to work with them.

Strategies to work with a dominant personality?

1. Feel in control

I know this sounds unreasonable because more often than not the behavior of the dominant personality will make you feel completely out of control. And that’s why the first and the most important step is to gain that control back.?

While there’s more work required to actually gain control of your situation, you would win half the battle by thinking “you do.” Your mindset plays a crucial role in how you experience the events in your life, the emotions you feel and it finally determines how you act.?

By telling your mind that you are in control of your situation, you can feed it with the goals that will inspire you to take action instead of adopting a self-defeating goal where all you do is feel sorry for your situation thereby turning a bad situation into an even worse one.

Joseph Murphy wrote in The Power of Your Subconscious Mind “What the other person says or does cannot really annoy or irritate you except you permit him to disturb you. The only way he can annoy you is through your own thought. For example, if you get angry, you have to go through four stages in your mind: You begin to think about what he said. You decide to get angry and generate an emotion of rage. Then, you decide to act. Perhaps, you talk back and react in kind. You see that the thought, emotion, reaction, and action all take place in your mind. When you become emotionally mature, you do not respond negatively to the criticism and resentment of others.”

2. Dig deeper into their dominant personality?

More often than not, people who have a dominant personality aren’t aware of their temperament and the effect they have on others. They really don’t see the world the same way as you do. In some situations, having a candid discussion with them can solve the problem and at other times it may actually backfire.

“When we come from a place of judgment, we become stuck in our own worldview. When we come from a place of curiosity we expand our range of possibility.”

Understanding a little more about their personality is your gateway to finding an effective way to work with them. When around them, be present. I really mean it. Be present and take note of the way they speak and the questions they ask. Take note of their non-verbal cues (tone, voice, facial expressions) and try to understand what motivates them to be this way:

• Is it their need to be in control?
• Do they tend to prioritize results over relationships?
• Do they usually come off as assertive, direct, and quick to make decisions?
• Do they tend to overrule others’ opinions because they want things done their way?
• Are they motivated by achievement or the desire to look good in front of others?
• Does this self-confidence come across as arrogance?
• Are they impatient with others who tend to be more thoughtful in their decisions??
• Do they put others down to make themselves look good?
• Do they operate with a sense of urgency and expect efficiency in every interaction?

A person with a dominant personality can display many of these distinct behaviors. What’s crucial for you to move forward is to understand 2 things:

• What part of their behavior annoys or upsets you?
• How does this behavior prevent you from achieving your goals?

The second question is really important because you should spend zero time worrying about someone else’s behavior that has absolutely no impact on your life or the things you wish to achieve. Yes, their behavior might disappoint you briefly, but in no way it should be the reason for unnecessary stress and anxiety in your life.?

3. Don’t take it personally

What can make you see things clearly and act constructively around them? Detach their words and prevent them from attaching it to your identity. Their behavior does not reflect on you, your competence, or your work.?

4. Look for win-win opportunities

Treat every interaction with a dominant personality as a negotiation. Asking these questions will help you find an alignment of your ideas to their goals:

• What drives them??
• What results do they seek?
• How does your work align with the big picture they have in mind?

Knowing what drives and motivates them can help you present your ideas in a way that makes them feel good, in control, and in a winning position. When they feel this way, they are unlikely to brush you aside and more likely to pay attention to what you have to say.?

When you look for win-win opportunities, you are likely to find solutions that didn’t seem possible earlier.?

5. Don’t get impatient with their impatience

A dominant personality may be dismissive of your ideas or be quick to pass judgments. But the worst way to work with an impatient person is to be impatient yourself.?

Keep pushing for your idea. When they interrupt you or try to take over, politely point out that you haven’t finished. When they try to dismiss your idea, ask them for their opinion on your idea. If they like to make quick decisions, be prepared with all the data and analysis upfront. When they try to push you under the bus, remind them that you are on the same team.??

By staying calm and composed around them and paying attention to their reaction, you can adjust your interactions to align with their expectations without feeling disappointed, hurt, or let down.??

Be powerful not to dominate others but to conquer yourself. If you have patience inside, then you can decide every situation peacefully.

So Readers or my upcoming Leaders life is waiting for you to give your best shot.