Doing and The Expectation Gap

Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want to do if you stay in the present moment.

-Deepak Chopra

This week I cheered on my niece as she competed in districts.  All four years of high-school her goal has been to sprint at the state level. Relentless in her pursuit, she did all the work to strip away tenths of a second needed to qualify. Day and night, rain and sunshine – nothing deterred her from doing the work.  Her plan was well vetted by coaches and instrumental in her acceptance onto a Division II collegiate track team as a freshman this coming year. 

Already I can say she’s achieved goals so elusive to the majority of people, however above average was never her goal. So she works harder and harder, doing more and more. 

This past Wednesday was the day of reckoning for her and all the other competitors. Would all the doing be enough?

As the event kicked off, unseasonably warm temperatures met the palatable nervous energy of everyone who would toe the line that afternoon. For many, this day marked the realization that this may be the very last time they’d compete should they fail to achieve state qualifying times. A harsh ending to the passage of the high-school teenage years.

The starting gun went off. With each start, she took off like a rocket knocking off the tenths of a seconds. PR, PR, PR. That’s right! She had three personal records in the books and stood 4th on the podium in the 100m dash. The fourth fastest girl in the district! She and her relay team moved from barely making districts to 5th in the district! 

All the doing was working!!! Until it didn’t.  And tears of disappointment flowed. 

With a time of 12.6 seconds to dash 100m, she had missed states by 0.1 second. “What was the point of doing all this? I didn’t make it to states.” accompanied the tears. 

The miss doesn’t mean she’s not running in college; she is. The miss doesn’t mean she’s not a fast sprinter; she’s 4th in a very large district. 

The miss did however rob her of the present moment. 

Doing is the way we humans have come to measure productivity. Worn like a gold star, we walk around talking about how many hours we work, how far we’ve walked/run/biked/hiked, how many social engagements we’re attending, etc.  We do more and more, relentlessly marching our way to the next measurement point. 

But when does all the doing become doing just too busy ourselves, robbing us of the gift of time in the present moment's joy? 

I find myself asking this question when I hear people talk of all the work they’re doing now to set up for rest later in life (aka retirement).  Having conditioned ourselves to do for the sake of doing, it’s no surprise when people retire a month later they cry “I’m so bored, I can’t do this!”. 

 So I wrap this week up with an invitation to work some non-doing into the schedule. Instead of doing, doing, doing to get somewhere, sit for just 5 minutes to explore sprinkling in micro-achievements now vs. leaving it for some future date.

Looking for the reprieve of vacation – how about scheduling regular midday breaks? Chasing down an athletic achievement – how about a sports massage? Seeking clarity from a groggy mind – how about 5 minutes deliberate breathing away from technology?

It’s still doing, so fret not! It’s just a more productive and enjoyable use of time. 

“Never leave that till tomorrow that which you can do today.” 

- Benjamin Franklin