Doing coaching versus Being a coach

Recently, an acquaintance shared his aspiration to become a coach. When I asked why, he said it was because someone he respected and trusted had suggested. This response caught me off guard. I probed further, asking what internal motivations drove him, but he insisted it was about trust in that person's advice. He even compared it to the unwavering trust he has in his father, stating he would jump into a well if his father told him to, believing there must be a good reason behind it. This conversation to me highlighted a significant distinction between blind faith and reflective self-motivation.

?This incident inspired me to write about my perspective on being a coach versus doing coaching. Here’s my take:

Doing Coaching

To effectively coach, one must possess certain skills and credentials:

• Clear communication skills
• Relevant training
• Familiarity with various tools and frameworks
• Practicing the core competencies of active listening, being present for your client, being non-judgemental, etc…
• Certification from reputable bodies (like ICF or EMCC)

These are aspects of coaching that anyone can acquire with effort and dedication.

Being a Coach

Being a coach delves much deeper than just doing coaching. It’s about embodying certain principles and qualities:

Active Listening to self: Involves, listening without interrupting or needing to respond. Being fully present with the client, offering your undivided attention. A coach not only needs to listen to his/her clients, they also need to listen to themselves; their words, their emotions, their thoughts, their actions, their impact on others etc. As Stephen Covey said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." As a coach, the goal is to truly understand, so active listening ?both for self and the client become super crucial.

Reflectiveness: A coach needs to engage in continuous self-reflection to improve his/her coaching practice. Understand that you cannot give from an empty cup; nurture yourself with love, peace, and abundance to better serve others.

Openness to Feedback: As a coach, one needs to welcome feedback from clients, stakeholders, colleagues, and loved ones without defensiveness. Reflect on feedback as a gift, understanding that you may choose to act on it or not, but always consider it thoughtfully.

Flexibility and Adaptability: A coach needs to be open to changing his/her views and approaches based on new insights and feedback. Understand that coaching is not about imposing your ideas but facilitating the client's journey of self-discovery. Like a tree in the wind, a coach must be flexible to withstand and adapt to the changing dynamics of each client relationship.

Curiosity: Last, but probably most important a coach needs to be constantly curious to learn more…more about self, more about others, more about the situation. The toughest in all of these is the willingness to be curious about self. Why am I way I am! Active listening to self, Self-reflection, openness to feedback, and wiliness to change and adapt are the pillars that uphold your curiosity.

?In essence, being a coach is about more than just guiding others; it's a great deal about personal growth, humility, and a commitment to continuous improvement. This deeper level of engagement with self is what distinguishes a coach from someone who merely does coaching.

Do let me know what you think as you read this article...what does being a coach mean to you?

#coach #coaching #coachingskills #beingacoach #MyCoachingMoment uExcelerate

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