Dog Days

With all that's going on in the world, I wanted to write something silly today. No drama. No politics. Nothing revelatory about AI or creative marketing or my films... just something silly. I have a dogs-of-the-day calendar from WeRateDogs - and thought, what if the days of the week were dogs?

That’s right, I'm asking the big question: What if the days of the week were dogs? It’s the kind of groundbreaking thought experiment you come here for, like “What if Mondays didn’t exist?” (Spoiler: It’d feel great for about a week, and then Tuesdays would just unionize and pick up the slack.)

Let’s dive in, shall we?

The definitive guide to the Dog Days of the Week.

MONDAY - The Siberian Husky

Mondays are loud, dramatic, and full of unrelenting demands for attention —just like a Siberian Husky. They’re full of energy you don’t have and have no problem yelling at you (or howling, as the case may be) when you’re moving too slow. Mondays love to take your plans and run circles around them while you beg for mercy. If Monday were a dog, it would absolutely dig a hole through your neatly organized weekend and blame you for it.

TUESDAY - The Labrador

Tuesday is the Lab: reliable, friendly, and here to get the job done. No flash, no fuss, just tail-wagging competence. It’s the day where you finally hit your stride, even if it’s a little boring. Labs are like, “Hey, let’s revise our CRM training! We’ll make it fun!” And you believe them. Why? Because Labs are like that one co-worker who’s too nice but somehow pulls it off without being annoying.

WEDNESDAY: The Shiba Inu

Wednesdays are Shibas: stubborn, smug, and entirely unimpressed with your midweek crisis. They’re not here to motivate you; they’re here to quietly judge your decision to procrastinate until Thursday. A Wednesday Shiba will let you know it’s halfway through the week with a side-eye and a raised eyebrow. You can’t rush Wednesday, and you definitely can’t tell it what to do. It’ll just smirk and continue being Wednesday. It secretly hates you.

THURSDAY: The Golden Retriever

Ah, Thursday. The optimistic golden retriever of the week. So close to Friday, it’s practically wagging its tail in anticipation. Golden Retrievers are sunshine in fur, and Thursdays are the same in day form. They’re full of hopeful energy, wagging their metaphorical tail at the thought of the weekend. Thursdays believe in you, even when you’re clinging to your last shred of productivity. If a Thursday could talk, it’d say, “You’re so close to Friday! I believe in you! Now throw the ball!”

FRIDAY: The Frenchie

French Bulldogs are Fridays: quirky, short, and entirely here for a good time. By Friday afternoon, this little dog day is fully checked out and into party mode. Frenchie Friday is sipping on its tiny skinny marg, wearing Ray Bans, and side-eyeing anyone still working. And let’s be honest, you’re not mad about it. You’re just happy to be invited to the vibe. They’re unapologetically here for fun and don’t really care if you finish that last email, snorting with laughter at your attempt to stay focused.

SATURDAY: The Stupidly Happy Rescue Mutt

Saturday is the ultimate rescue mutt: goofy, unpredictable, and impossibly lovable. It’s the one day of the week that feels like pure, tail-wagging joy. Saturdays are the kind of dog that shows up at your door and immediately changes your life for the better. They’re also the dog you never know what to expect from. Are we running errands? Napping? Spontaneously hiking a trail we’ve never heard of? Who knows! Saturdays are just happy to be here.

SUNDAY: The Basset Hound

And then, there’s Sunday. The Basset Hound of the week. Slow-moving, soulful, and just a little sad. Sundays are the days where you’re equal parts grateful for the quiet and dreading the Monday Husky barking in the distance. You spend your Sunday curled up on the couch with a blanket, watching the hours slip away while the Basset Hound sighs deeply, its droopy eyes saying, “Yeah, I feel it too, buddy.”

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And there you have it, friends — the week as man’s best friend. Seven loyal companions, each bringing their own brand of chaos, charm, and emotional baggage.

But let’s step back for a moment. Isn’t it poetic that the week starts with a Siberian Husky—a drama queen dragging us into responsibility—and ends with a Basset Hound—a low-energy philosopher reminding us to take it slow? It’s like the universe is trying to tell us something, and that something is: “Life is hard, but at least you’re not being chased by a Husky with a to-do list.”

Now, some might say it’s ridiculous to anthropomorphize dogs into days of the week, and to those people, I say: Have you met Wednesday?

-Jonathan