It Doesn’t Have To Be Lonely At The Top

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Ascending to the top of an organization is a goal for many leaders. When it happens, it’s thrilling, but it can also be lonely. Many see it as the price of success. Some think loneliness is inevitable, given their packed schedule.?

Loneliness doesn’t arise from an absence of interpersonal interaction. Instead, it is a symptom of a lack of real connection. At work, feelings of isolation can stomp out enthusiasm and fulfillment, increase anxiety, and even decrease empathy - none of which helps leaders succeed nor help others do their best.?

Hybrid or fully-remote work schedules have made connectivity more challenging than ever, but leaders who make the effort to connect will find the rewards more than worth it.

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Take your emotions seriously

When people have a lot on their minds, they may push aside their emotions in order to focus on the task at hand. While compartmentalizing is sometimes necessary, it’s important not to ignore negative feelings because they provide clues to potential problems. When people ignore stressors, they may be unaware of the negative effects on themselves and others.?

Small actions can have big results

Connections can be readily built in small ways; these actions take intention and attention, but not necessarily a lot of time. For example:

• Observing what others are doing and how they are doing
• Asking for ideas, opinions, and volunteers for interesting work
• Showing curiosity, even about ordinary, routine matters: “How does that work? Do you have ideas about how we might do that differently or better?”
• Paying attention when someone seems distracted, and asking how they are doing (without expecting disclosure, or to be the problem solver).?
• Deliberately interacting with people whom they don’t typically spend time with, even briefly.

One executive with whom I work, Phillip, selects people he hasn’t spoken with recently, and calls them. He does it without an appointment or agenda, and asks them three questions: 1) How are you? 2) What challenges do you see for us? 3) What are your ideas? This small act helps him learn and gives him a sense of satisfaction that he was lacking before making these calls. The people on the receiving end often say they feel like Phillip knows who they are, cares about them, and values their opinions. It’s no surprise that Phillip is one of the most successful leaders in his company; people clamor to work with him.?

Make it a habit?

If a leader feels disconnected, odds are that their team members do also.? Loneliness is? personal, but it can also be both structural and cultural. Leaders can make a huge difference in their employees’ level of engagement, enthusiasm, and willingness to put ideas forward.??

Prioritizing genuine connection will benefit leaders, their team, their organization, and the communities in which they operate for a long time to come.?

For more ways to enhance your leadership, pick up my newest book!? Meta-Leadership: How to See What Others Don’t and Make Great Decisions, draws on a vast body of research from psychology and business to show how great leaders can improve their judgment and decision-making for stronger, more profitable results.?

Click here to get your copy!?

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