Does Your Child's School Take Bullying Seriously?

Look for the Three P's.

Have you ever wondered how your child’s school views bullying?? The beginning of a new school year is a great time to find out. A school that takes bullying seriously will lean on a community-based approach that will include the three P’s – policies, procedures and programs.? The following information is adapted from Barbara Coloroso’s book, “The Bully, The Bullied and the Not so Innocent Bystander.”??

Anti-Bullying Policy:

Having a bullying policy is absolutely necessary.? It must have depth and not simply an inspirational saying or a “we don’t tolerate bullying” statement.? The policy must be clearly articulated, consistently enforced and broadly communicated.? The entire staff, (custodians, teachers, receptionists, administrations, etc.), should have a clear understanding of the anti-bullying policy.? It must include a clear definition of bullying, the ways bullying occurs and an understanding of the impact of bullying on the school environment.? The policy should include a statement of responsibility of those who are witnesses to bullying incidents and try to stop it by intervening, helping the targeted student escape and a way to make it safe to tell a caring adult.?

Procedures:

This is where the rubber meets the road.? Having a policy has absolutely no teeth unless there are specific procedures in place to deal with bullying. Procedures should have some latitude and common sense.? A one size fits all approach is not optimal.

Consequences for the bully and any active bystanders who played a role in the bullying event should be clearly outlined.? Procedures should include measures that hold the perpetrators accountable for their actions.? Ideally, some form of restorative justice is ideal that involves restitution, resolution, and if possible, an attempt at reconciliation (only if the targeted student is agreeable to that). Lastly, the parents or guardians of the bully need to be notified and asked to take measures at home to aid in the restorative justice process.

Procedures also need to include what measures will be taken to keep targeted students safe at school.? They should include tools to aid them in standing up to the perpetrators, offering support, and tools to effectively deal with any new bullying situations they may face.? Safe, caring and trustworthy adults at school should be identified to whom they can safely report any further bullying to.? You, as a parent or guardian should be told of this plan and offered the appropriate protocol to follow up and how to report any further targeting of your child.? A school that takes action, comes up with an appropriate plan to end the bullying, and follows up with you and your child is a school that takes bullying seriously.

Programs:

An appropriate anti-bullying program for a school is one that will back up and reinforce the anti-bullying policy and create a safe, caring, and welcoming environment for all students.

A program that will have the greatest success is one that is embedded in the curriculum and culture of the school.? The once a year anti-bullying rally, or posters that claim this is a “no-bully zone” that does not reinforce those ideals the entire school year will not succeed.? Bullying and becoming an upstander can be taught through literature and character education lessons.? Empathy and feelings can be part of writing assignments.? Some schools offer mentorship programs to aid students new to a school or new to a grade.? A “no one sits alone” lunch policy or a buddy bench will curb bullying behavior and create a caring environment.??

Every member of the school staff needs to be properly trained in bullying.? All employees should know the definition of bullying and what measures they should take when they witness it or when it is reported to them. It is the adult’s job to STOP bullying.? Finally, there should be a standard way communicated to all the school’s stakeholders of how to report bullying, and when the target and their caregivers can expect the school will follow up with them.

Here are some questions you may want to ask your child’s school:

·????? What is your school’s definition of bullying?

·????? How does bullying get reported at your school?

·????? What is the best way to report bullying?

·????? How quickly does the school respond after bullying has been reported?

·????? If a child has been found to be a perpetrator of bullying, what kinds of consequences can he or she be subject to?

·????? What types of programs does the school offer to teach the students about bullying?

·????? How is bullying taught/discussed in the classroom?? How often?

·????? How long are your school employees trained about bullying?? Is there a special program they participate in?

And, my personal favorite question:

·????? Does bullying happen at this school?

If the answer is “no”, you may need to pull up a chair and prepare for a long conversation with the school employee.? Unfortunately, bullying happens at every school and the real key is how effectively and quickly it is dealt with.? If a school has proper policies, procedures and programs in place, and adheres to those, the bullying can be stopped, and the target can be properly cared for.?

Bullying Recovery Resource Center can also help you navigate the bullying your child is enduring.? We provide education, resources, advocacy, expertise and hope to help stop bullying.? If you have any questions, or if your child’s school fails to stop the bullying of your child, we are here to help.