DOES YELLING WORK?

I can’t believe we still have to address this question, but we do.? In my former career as a professor, I was quick to share with my MBA students that negativity as a form of motivation is not wise.? It can produce short-term compliance, but never builds long-term commitment, and always does damage.? I would share with the students that I know that negativity is normal – it happens.? But the point is that it can’t be frequent, substantial, or intentional.? Inevitably, one or more students would challenge me…. and bring up sports. ?

They might say, “Coaches yell.? Even good ones.? They also often win, so is it that bad?” I would be ready with my Bobby Knight audio clip on YouTube (search “Bobby Knight motivational speech”).? The late Indiana Hoosiers coach was infamous for his angry outbursts.? Once he was recorded at halftime of an Indiana Hoosiers vs Purdue Boilermakers game.? His team was losing.? So, he decided to say this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chdg7wEGfYw (NSFW!).?

I knew the clip would offend and startle the group.? I wanted it to have that effect.? When they were properly revved up, I would share the rule with them:? no amount of awesome performance justifies consistent jerk-like behavior.? You can be a great coach, a great player, a great boss, or a great employee, but you’re still a fool to rely on negativity as a normal part of your motivational bag of tricks.? I very effectively shared my view, backed by science and experience. They listened.?They seemed to understand.

Then someone would usually say, “Yea, but did the Hoosiers win that game?”? They wanted to know if the negativity was useful in the example from the audio clip.? I would admit that I honestly didn’t know if they won the game that produced the halftime recording.? I would then explain why this might produce a short-term win while creating a long-term problem impacting morale, productivity, and turnover.? “Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s useful,” I’d suggest.

For the sake of debate, I would continue, “Okay, what about at work?? Should supervisors yell at employees?” I asked.? Over the years, a few international students were quite surprised that I seem to be ruling out the use of yelling and screaming at work.? They said it was normal and sometimes needed. Yes, there are many countries with different views of work-relevant issues such as gender roles, communication norms, religious behaviors, status and hierarchy rules, and so on.? I would politely explain to them that our agreement on universal human rights and our desire to maximize what our teams can do depends on a positive leadership disposition, not a heavily negative disposition.? Still, some of them remained skeptical.?

Then someone would dare to say it.? “If coaches can yell, it should be okay at work too.” I explained that the more interesting question is not, “Does it work?”? Instead, we should ask if they can win without yelling, or if someone can lead without screaming.? The answer is an obvious yes.? It requires more emotional intelligence, patience, and kindness – but the answer is definitely yes.? Anyone who suggests otherwise is sadly mistaken.? It reminds me of parents who believe it is okay to strike children.? First, there are smarter ways to achieve results.? Millions and millions of parents have proven this to be true.? Second, there is damage associated with negative parenting practices:? fear, mistrust, low self-confidence, and a higher likelihood of aberrant behavior.? Why would you expect teams at work to be any different?

I’ve personally listened to thousands of stories about life at work and questionable manager behaviors.? The result is always the same.? When negativity in some form is a go-to method for communicating and motivating, the team becomes damaged.? People do the minimum.? They come in late and leave early.? They are not quick to help others.? They look for better opportunities.? Sometimes, sadly, they do what children do when they are the recipients of negative parent behavior:? they act out.? So, employees spread rumors, engage in sabotage, and they don’t shy away from nasty interpersonal conflict.?

“But don’t we have coaches at work?” someone might ask.? Sure, and they don’t yell!? So, let me think for a minute about all of the many leadership, team, and career-related things I have read, said, or written in the last few decades. ?Regarding coaching, I’ve never once come across a good justification for persistent negativity at work. ?Hmm.? Now let me peruse some of the materials from my friends in the International Coaching Federation and related associations.? Nope – can’t find the section of their training that highlights how to yell and scream effectively.? They must have forgotten that topic.? Or, once and for all can we just agree that negativity is clearly far more problematic than useful as a communication or motivation tactic??

I hope so, because sports metaphors do have their limits.? At work, abuse is much better understood compared to sports.? In most modern workplaces, if you somewhat consistently berate someone, yell and scream, argue, accuse, and denigrate others – that’s abuse.? In a few dysfunctional offices, these folks are allowed to stay employed, if they know the boss well or if they are highly talented (both poor justifications).? In most workplaces, they are called out for what they are – unacceptable and inappropriate.? They must be asked to change and improve quickly or be let go.? Otherwise, your conflict avoidance will spoil the entire team culture.?

Look, I understand – yelling happens.? However, when you come down from your emotional overload and realize what you’ve done, just remember to apologize, explain yourself respectfully with no blaming, make amends for any damage you may have caused, and then share your plan to be more mindful moving forward so that you don’t make the same mistake anytime soon.? Or, just keep yelling. ?You will definitely be understood.? Your intent will be loud and clear.? They will have little ambiguity about how you feel. ?Congratulations, although your career in leadership is likely to be very short.? Try not yelling.

WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?

Life has conspired to slow my content creation down over the last few months – but no more!? I’m working on wrapping up a new batch of fun relevant advice.? Scripts almost complete.? Hopefully shooting will commence before the end of the year.? Fingers crossed!? I’m working on two upcoming speaking events, one booked (virtual), one almost booked (in Austin, Texas).? More to come as they happen.? Scary movie fans?? I am all year round, but especially near Halloween.? I just watched the new take on Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot on Max… very lackluster, too bad since the cast was amazing.? It just wasn’t scary!? I did have occasion over the last few weeks to rewatch three favorites that I highly recommend.? Be warned – they are not for the faint of heart:? Barbarian (2022), Halloween (2018), and Silence of the Lambs (1991).? Did I mention that after trying for over two years, my son Parker just claimed a nice little cash prize put up by yours truly for dunking in a basketball game?? It was very nice one hand jam – he earned every penny!

Until next time – go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!

My courses:? https://www.dhirubhai.net/learning/instructors/todd-dewett

My books:? https://tinyurl.com/yvwuvmaw

Me on stage:? https://bit.ly/3EfcDSb

Book me:? https://bit.ly/3WHeRB0?

All links in one place:? https://linktr.ee/drdewett.