Does where you live help or hurt your career?

People move to the suburbs for a variety of reasons. Bigger backyards and a quieter atmosphere, or even more space. Suburban living also often represents a major life change - many people move to the suburbs after a marriage or the birth of a child. There are many variables involved in the decision to move; one of the most common is when children begin entering the school system. This is driven by the quality of education, the school district, the cost of living, and more.?

For many women, the move to the suburbs can impact a career change significantly, or even ignite the end of a career. For me, the impact of moving to the suburbs was less about a career change and more about finding synergies with like-minded women and feeling supported as a sole female founder. In cocktail and country club conversations, I found myself often relating more to the men because they worked in my industry, and there were very few other women whom I could connect with professionally. The conversations with other women often revolved around carpooling or PTA, and I began to lose my sense of professional self-worth.??

It wasn’t until I discovered the 1871 Chicago LATINX incubator program in 2017 that I finally, after 7 years, could reconnect with career-focused entrepreneurs who were not only launching tech startups like myself but also were Latinx.? However, the big hiccup was that none of these founders were women who were also mothers. I needed support from other female founders who were also mothers (it’s one of the reasons I created Blazin Babes ).

Here are my tips for maintaining your professional self-worth and staying connected with like-minded individuals - regardless of where you live.??

1) Find a support in-person and online community

Human beings are social creatures. Our need for community is as basic as our need for food, water, and shelter. When we have more privacy and space (an often-touted benefit of suburbia), our social needs are often more difficult to meet. Those sprawling lawns and isolated housing developments make it more challenging to feel a sense of community than in the closer quarters of an urban setting.?

For women seeking a professional community, the suburbs can be an obstacle. If women are career-oriented, there is now a major likelihood that they will work from home, especially if they live outside an urban area. Because you need a car to get anywhere in most suburbs, it’s also less likely that women who work from home will travel to a co-working space. We know the power of women supporting women at work, but how do you reap the benefits if you’re not seeing much of anyone?

One of the reasons I created Blazin Babes is to fill that hole for women and female founders. Make sure you’re not missing out on powerful opportunities by seeking out other working women who are founders or work in corporate or other areas of business in your area.

2) Throw out "Working mom guilt"

No matter where you live, if you’re a working mom, you’ve likely experienced the guilt that goes along with it. While studies have shown that the psychological and emotional health of a child is not significantly impacted by having a mother who works, antiquated societal and social pressures often cause working moms like me to feel like they are doing something wrong.?

Because those who live in the suburbs tend to have slightly higher incomes , there are naturally more stay-at-home parents than in urban areas. For moms who work, seeing involved stay-at-home moms at PTA meetings and fundraisers can trigger a shame response. What we surround ourselves with is often what we become, and that guilt can cause some women to rethink their career prospects. This isn’t a dig at stay-at-home moms - I support whatever women decide to do with their lives. For those who choose not to stay home with their kids, this can be a dangerous shift; not only for our careers, but our mental health as well. The same goes for women who choose to stay at home.

3) Find new ways to innovate

When I left corporate in 2007, I remember being in a playground in Chicago with other working women who had left corporate careers. These were educated women with predominantly master's degrees, and one of the biggest conversations we had each week when we met was, “When are we going back to work? ARE we going to go back to work?”??

After a few months of this, I brought up a topic to my playground.

“Does anyone know anyone in the toy industry?”.??

I wanted to take my innovation experience in corporate leading global new product development innovation in tech and durable goods and apply that same experience to the world of children’s toys.?I figured I’m playing with these toys with my baby… I might as well develop them.?

One of the women in my playground said, “I go to church with Robert Pasin , the CEO of Radio Flyer .” I asked her, “Can you hand him my resume?”??

And that was how I moved into working on a project for Radio Flyer, expanding their scooter line. That experience brought me to Chuggington, where I helped build the brand in my first startup. This happened while we were still living in the city. It was the move to the suburbs that really impacted the shift in my career support system.

If you’re a working mom experiencing this in the suburbs, try finding local groups of working mothers. This can be a helpful space to express your feelings, network, and find new ways to grow your career.

4) Pop the bubble

In suburbia, how you live is on display. Your house, your cars, your lawn, what country club, church, or synagogue you belong to… even how you do your Christmas lights! In areas where many homes look nearly identical, many of us feel pressure to “keep up with the Joneses.” With so much focus on status and the outer markers that reflect that status, it’s easy to lose sight of what is important to us. We’re too busy thinking about fitting in and having a better-looking front walkway.

In my opinion, one of the biggest downsides to suburban living is its emphasis on conformity. Many neighborhoods feature identical homes and lifestyles, and someone who lives in opposition to that is not always made to feel welcome. While suburbs are becoming more diverse , in my experience, they still lack the diversity of thought that comes with an urban setting. Suburbs are isolated on purpose. While that can make for an incredible backyard, it also means that if you’re not careful, it’s easy to get trapped in a bubble.?

If you’re in an area where everyone lives and thinks the same way or perhaps your background doesn't relate to the majority, you may feel isolated and alone. If you sense you’re trapped in a bubble, make an effort to join both virtual communities and in-person communities that better reflect your interests. Organizations like BlazinBabes allow women who are career-driven founders and mothers to feel supported and positive about who they are.

5) Marriage Roles

Suburbia tends to be more “traditional” than urban areas, and if your relationship isn’t healthy, this can be a real problem. If your husband works with other men who have stay-at-home wives and you are the only wife who works outside the home, it is essential to have a supportive partner. Otherwise, you won’t feel supported within that community during cocktail hours, country club dinners, or any social setting within that homogeneous suburb community. It is tough for any woman who doesn't fit the norm of a community to feel supported, especially if their role in the marriage is different from everyone else’s.

The bottom line is to find communities, both virtually and in-person, that share your value system, career goals, educational background, and life purpose. This will keep you motivated, supported, and feeling part of a community that you relate to and that you can prosper from both personally and professionally.??

To find out more about BlazinBabes and to get on our waitlist, email [email protected] !

VENTURE INVESTING: Are you a founder or investor looking to connect, partner, or collaborate? Let’s talk!?

SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS: If you are interested in having me speak at your organization, university, conference, or event, email me at [email protected] .?

CONNECT WITH ME: Make sure you never miss a newsletter issue by clicking the "Subscribe" button in the upper right corner of this page. For more tips and insight, connect with me here! ? You can also follow me on social media: Facebook Twitter Instagram TikTok