Does Wanting Success Make Me Selfish?

Is it selfish to want a lot of success or to feel good about yourself when it happens? Or should you settle for stress and a constant feeling that you’re not doing enough?

Where is the line between making your life all it can be and making your family feel like they are the priority?

Running a business is incredibly challenging and takes tremendous time and effort, especially if you wear all the hats or have numerous people under your charge. Many struggle to find the balance between doing what needs to get done and being a good spouse and parent, which creates additional guilt and pressure.

“How am I supposed to keep up with the constant demands of making money and keeping customers happy without being accused of being a workaholic or neglecting my family?

I sometimes feel trapped because I’m doing all this to be a good provider, fulfill my goals, and to ensure my family has a blessed life. But every waking moment, I'm strategizing about how to solve the next slew of problems at work and home while trying to keep everyone happy.

And if I vent about money or the overwhelming pressure, I get feedback that I shouldn’t complain because I get to live my dreams while everyone else has to make sacrifices around my schedule.”

I've had that conversation numerous times, and people often ask me where that invisible line is.

My answer is that there is no "line."

Instead, it's a series of unconscious beliefs that drive this internal story and the solution is to upgrade those suffering-inducing paradigms.

Where Did These Unconscious Beliefs Come From?

We’ve been conditioned to think that ambition and humility are mutually exclusive. If we take pride in our achievements, we’re somehow robbing the world of its moral balance or worsening someone else's life.

But God did not put you on this planet to struggle, stress, and downplay your success so others feel comfortable.

Many spiritual teachings in the Bible support the idea that using your gifts and thriving is what you’re supposed to do.

“Remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” (Deuteronomy 8:18)

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

So When Does Success Become Selfish?

Success goes off the rails when:

• You start treating people like stepping stones and making comments like “that’s not my problem” and “it’s not personal, it’s business.”
• Your lust for achievement becomes more prominent than your desire to help others with theirs.
• You chase wealth or status to prove your worth or feel secure rather than relying on the principles Jesus provides, which lead to much greater fulfillment.

If you’re worried about being selfish, you’re probably not as selfish as you fear. Narcissists don’t sit around debating whether they’re selfish. They’re too busy buying a second yacht.

Can You Succeed Without Feeling Guilty?

YES. When you thrive, you create more opportunities, help more people, and set an example for what’s possible. If you’re too exhausted, anxious, or guilt-ridden to enjoy your success, what’s the point? And how does that help anyone else?

So, let’s stop treating success like it’s some moral tightrope. You’re allowed to want more and be a good person.

You can feel confident and be humble.

You can accumulate wealth and peace of mind.

You can be a wildly successful business owner and a loving, attentive spouse and parent.

Not by using a fancy communication tactic you picked up on TikTok, but by enhancing the deeply ingrained unconscious beliefs that drive the internal conflicts. Let’s Talk About This - And Amend It

If you relate to this, reply and let me know.

(Thank you to everyone who has been responding and sharing their feedback and stories. I cannot reply to all the emails, but I am reading them and appreciate you.

I’m also scheduling a live Overcoming Achiever Syndrome Master class on April 8th from 12pm-1:30pm EST so we can support one another.

Emotional support from those who understand what you're going through is priceless and you can't get that from watching online trainings by yourself.

It's worth "giving up that time" to get away from your business so you can work on yourself, which will grow your company faster than anything else you'd do with that time.

(If that last comment makes your jaw tense, you must attend! If not for you, do it for those around you who deal with your constant intensity, absence, or highs and lows.)

In addition, I'll be sharing all the research I’ve collected over the last few years on Achiever Syndrome, which is what many high performers experience when no matter what they accomplish, it never feels good enough.

Achiever Syndrome (that’s what I call it) comes from a cluster of related unconscious beliefs that keep high achievers stuck in constant motion but without sustainable progress or inner peace. Feeling good about yourself and your life should be the goal, not a crime. Our world is bombarded with messages that create unhappiness, anxiety, loneliness, and outrage.

It’s being fueled by the media and pumped into our brains daily through smartphones.

The only escape is to strengthen your faith and detox your brain of fear, anger, and the need for control.

Ironically, doing so will ultimately give you the certainty and connectedness you crave…and much more joy, satisfaction, and prosperity.

Let’s make 2025 the year you finally stop apologizing for wanting a better life. You in?

Thanks for reading, and please share your thoughts on this newsletter.

:) Tim

Tim 'High Achiever' Shurr, MA President, Shurr Success, Inc Director, Indy Hypnosis Centers Founder, Accredited Hypnotism Academy of Indiana Featured in upcoming movie, Zero Limits with Joe Vitale, John Assaraf, and John Demartini Best-Selling Author of One Belief Away Creator, One Belief Away Hypnosis Certification Program