Does social media impact self worth?

'Never before has a generation so diligently recorded themselves accomplishing so little'

General

When you scroll down your Facebook page, you are bound to come across pictures (often selfies) of contacts with a short (sometimes long) comment, quote or song or maybe even poetry. And on that post there would be numerous likes (including the latest care emoji) and comments of his/her friends. So, what do you do? Press like? Or comment?

You will also find people writing long messages to their dead father, wishing their 'best husband' on his birthday (I would assume that he sleeps on the same bed and lives in the same house) and taking quizzes on 'if you were an animal what would you be?' and 'which celebrity do you resemble' which they then post gleefully for the rest of the world to see.

The social ecosystem is alive and kicking (sometimes quite hard).

Research

Data collected by research agencies have concluded that there are 4.33 billion social media users around the world, equating to more than 55 % of the total global population.

Going forward, the number of social media users will continue to increase. The average annual growth rate from 2022 to 2025 is forecast at 3.9 percent. Thus, social media will continue to be a part of consumers’ daily lives, with smartphones and mobile devices as the main driving force. As it stands, social media statistics show that 91% social media users use mobile devices to access social networks. Which means that they are online longer, which in turn increases the importance of their online persona.

Persona

The dictionary defines persona as the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others. Etymologically, the word "persona" is derived from a Latin word that literally means "mask." The persona represents all of the different social masks that we wear among various groups and situations.

Over the course of development, children learn that they must behave in certain ways in order to fit in with society's expectations and norms. As a person experiences life, events and reaction to them confirm and change beliefs and that too affects the persona.

With the explosion of social media, and the ease of searching and finding people, a lot of emphasis goes into 'creating' a persona, showcasing what you want to show and hiding what you don't want to. And then operate out of that 'persona.' It is successfully carried out by most people a lot of times. However, sometimes, the mask slips.

Brain Chemistry

Social media isn’t just a communications technology. It’s also an exercise for the social parts of your brain. Humans are hard-wired to be social, and positive social activity makes us happier. 

Does social-media engagement provide the same results?

Absolutely.

When we’re lonely, the level of stress chemicals like cortisol rises; chronic loneliness can lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. On the other hand, when we enjoy strong social connections, it increases the level oxytocin, the brain chemical involved in connection, empathy, trust, generosity and sharing. So staying connected is a way to make ourselves physically and mentally healthier and more productive. And social media can make us feel connected in a totally real way.

Oxytocin - produced in the hypothalamus, it plays a big role in childbirth and breastfeeding, so, for decades, it was considered only a woman thing. However, beginning in 2004, scientists began studying its effects in humans. Researchers have found that oxytocin is released into our bodies and brains during positive social interactions of all kinds. Oxytocin reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain structure responsible for anxiety and fear. 

At the same time, it makes positive social interactions rewarding. Research shows that oxytocin plays a central role in trust – in both men and women. It plays a role in the bond between parents and children; in romantic love; and even in the bond between humans and dogs.While oxytocin creates those positive emotions, it also acts as a hormone. Traveling through the bloodstream, it provides loads of health benefits. It reduces stress and inflammation, and boosts the immune system. It also just makes us feel good.

One interesting thing about humans is that we don’t need to be face-to-face with someone else in order to have a genuine interaction. Our brains are very good at filling in the blanks when we’re talking on the phone or interacting via digital devices - like WhatsApp and on Facebook. Our brains experience digital interactions similarly to physical ones. That means that the brain can release oxytocin in response to a Facebook like as easily as to a real one.

In one study, people’s oxytocin levels went up when they received a digital coupon. Another study found that talking on the phone with their mothers increased oxytocin in girls as much as being physically close to them did. And, in three experiments, oxytocin research pioneer Paul J. Zak found that using Twitter and Facebook dramatically increased oxytocin levels.

So, the act of sharing via social media can give people the same benefits as a hug.

The caveat here is this. While oxytocin has received a lot of buzz as the “love hormone” and the “cuddle molecule,” it’s not quite as simple as more oxytocin equals more trust. The human brain is complex, and the wiring of the social brain makes it act strangely sometimes. Scientists don’t understand exactly how inhaled oxytocin affects our brains, and it’s clear that its effects depend on the type of the social interaction.

For example, a harried social-media manager who is under pressure to put out six tweets and one Facebook post a day might not get the calming benefits of an oxytocin release. On the other hand, an engineer who’s excited to share the release of a new feature is likely to get a feel-good oxytocin jolt.

 Dopamine - we know dopamine creates a need to want. Dopamine causes us to desire, seek and search. Dopamine is accelerated by unpredictability, by tiny bits of information, and by reward cues — pretty much the precise conditions of social media.

The feel of dopamine is so strong that studies have shown tweeting is harder for people to resist than alcohol and cigarettes.

Between oxytocin and dopamine, social networking not only comes with a lot of enormous feelings, it’s also really hard to stop wanting more. Facebook is where people love to like. Actually, since Facebook implemented the “like” button, it has been used more than 1.13 trillion times, with that number growing every day.

The reason we do this because, as human beings, we want to remain connected to people we like (and sometimes don't like). When we like each people’s posts, we add value to that relationship, and reinforce our intimacy. We also create a need for reciprocation, i.e., we feel obliged to give back to people who have given to us.

You see reciprocity on Instagram also, where receiving a tag or direct message makes you feel obliged to send one back. Anytime you receive a like on your profile, you feel a little pull to reciprocate in some way.

Self Worth

The term 'self worth' is misleading.

You see, the concept of value has three dependencies, a valuer, an object to be valued and the unit of valuation. For example, if you were to buy a flat, the broker would ask you for a particular sum of money.

Valuer = Broker; Object = Flat; Unit of Valuation = Money(Cost)

Similarly when you work for a company, the company does not own you nor do they buy you. They offer you compensation for an amount of your time within a contractual relationship which specifies the things that you do and the things that they will do in return.

Valuer = Company; Object = Your time and expertise ; Unit of valuation = Money(Salary)

Since technically you cannot value yourself (there would have to be two of you to do that), the value that you think you are of, comes from someone else. Some authority figure in the past who has appreciated/admonished you and has, in the process, stamped your value. Therefore, when we go seeking value, it is at the mercy of others. And social media is a place where you can convert this intangible into a tangible because we show our 'persona' and get valued as per that (we don't have to be scared of someone not appreciating the real you).

And as you do it more and more, fed by the cocktail of oxytocin-dopamine, you realise that online is happy, offline is sad. You give up on real relationships and focus on online friends, posts, selfies, comments and get caught up in the cycle of 'post-comment-like.' And spend more and more time online. This results in your offline life being no longer gratifying. Which in turn leads to depression, addictions and other psychological or psychosomatic manifestations of an unsatisfied life.

Conclusion

Which brings us to the question, now what?

How do you remain happy at who we are and not get into the never ending saga of seeking value online?

By focussing on our feelings, and addressing them. By accepting that it's OK not to be gorgeous and intelligent and funny and empathetic and scientific and fair. You are who you are and whether someone likes you or not is their prerogative, not yours. If you do the things that you think other people value or like, then you are trying to be who they want you to be, and in fact this is not a way for you to pander to that other person, it's a way for you to control them. 

The day you stop trying to control people, and accept who they are, you will be free of pressure and then, it won't matter if the mask stays or slips.

P.S. If you think you are addicted to social media or need help in any way, seek out a professional psychologist/counsellor/therapist. Its better to invest in therapy than in pharmaceuticals!