Does the Real-Life Horse Whisperer Know a Secret about Negotiation and Conflict?
Seth Freeman
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Secret: the same principles that help a legendary equestrian work with horses can help you deal with irrational counterparts. How?
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Meet Buck Brannaman, the man who helped inspire the movie, The Horse Whisperer.
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He practices Natural Horsemanship, a method based on principles surprisingly similar to Principled Negotiation.?
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His story, recounted in this clip from the documentary ‘Buck,’ illustrates deep secrets about conflict management.
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Think of ‘breaking a horse’- forcing it to submit. Traditionally, the process was often harsh and even brutal.
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It’s based on the belief that domination is the way to get what you want from another.
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There are times when that’s true. But it comes at a cost; it grounds dealings in fear.
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But so what? If the other- here, the horse- does what you want? Who cares why?
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Enter Buck Brannaman.
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In childhood, his father abused him and his brother to get them to perform rope tricks in public, making them famous- and miserable.
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Finally adults intervened, getting the kids to foster homes, where they thrived. When Buck discovered Natural Horsemanship, he was captivated.
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He identifed with the horses, and longed to learn how to give the sort of the compassionate treatment the method taught- and that he’d lacked as a child.?
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Fast forward years later and Buck had become a nationally renowned horse trainer, capable of winning almost astonishing cooperation from horses.
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As one trainee put it, “first time I saw him was amazing to me; it just blew my mind.”
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Another said, “you don’t realize how unjust [horse breaking] is until someone shows you a different path.”
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Eventually, Buck came to the attenion of Robert Redford, who increasingly based his character in The Horse Whisperer on Buck’s character and methods.
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Key to Natural Horsemanship are ideas central to Principled Negotiation.
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Instead of a ‘win/lose’, ‘I-it’ approach that often treats the horse as a thing to defeat, Natural Horsemanship treat the horse as a partner.
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The method takes more time than harsher methods, but tends to produce better, more predictable results.
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The idea is to be strong and kind toward the horse; neither shy nor cruel but firm and respectful.
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Rapport and mutual understanding replace pain and intimidation; moderate pressure and reward replace force and whips.
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Some small scale studies suggest Natural Horsemanship can be more efficient at building good human-horse relations, with less stress and comparable performance.
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Though not without criticism, the method (and others like it) has many supporters, going back as far as Xenophon in Ancient Greece.
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As Buck notes, “a lot of times, rather than helping people with horse problems, I’m helping horses with people problems.” Telling.
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In negotiation and conflict management training, we do something similar, shifting from seeing the other as merely ‘difficult,’ to bringing patience, humility, preparation, measured strength, and listening to the encounter.
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When one student taught his building super to use Principled Negotiation methods to a conflict with a trucker, the super returned saying, “I thought this stuff was BS- but it really worked!”
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He'd shifted from yelling at the trucker to collaborating with him. I’ve seen hardened purchasing agents and suppliers make similar shifts.
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Neither Natural Horsemanship nor Principled Negotiation is merely about being ‘nice’- it’s about being hard on the problem, soft on the other- about winning warmly, caring for both you and the other.
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As? Buck puts it, “your horse is a mirror to your soul. Sometimes you might not like what you see, sometimes you will.” We might say the same about the people we deal with.
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So, if you’re frustrated with your dealings with others, see what happens if you shift focus from struggle to a strong & kind approach. Negotiation tools can help you do that.
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My book, 15 Tools to Turn the Tide: A Step-By-Step Playbook for Empowered Negotiating, explores over a dozen field-tested tools that can help you actually do that.
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Procurement expert and International trainer/consultant. Creator of the MEGA Strategic Procurement Model. Sharing my 30+ years of Procurement experiences, stories and knowledge. Procurement scholar and innovator.
4 周Excellent Seth Freeman. I love horses... I used to raise horses... I also love Procurement. You have in me a living witness that this stuff works... FOR BOTH HORSES AND PEOPLE. I strongly recommend two books from Monty Roberts (the original horse whisperer): 'The man who listens to horses' and 'Horse sense for people'.
Rechtsanwalt / Counsel bei Deloitte Legal Rechtsanwaltsgesellschaft mbH / Head of Czech Country Desk
4 周A fascinating person with a deep understanding of horses. I read his bio. You can learn so much.
Chief Executive Officer at Pokarna Engineered Stone Limited
4 周Seth Freeman Fascinating analogy.Negotiation,like working with horses, isn’t about force.it’s about trust, timing and understanding unspoken signals.Professor, do you think the best negotiators are more like horse whisperers -reading subtle cues and nudging behavior or chess players thinking multiple moves ahead ?