Does Our Personality = Our Personal Reality

Commitment and conviction don't live on the same street as convenience! I don’t remember exactly how she said it, but it’s a line which stood out to me, from motivational speaker, Lisa Nichols.

I learned some time ago that every emotion will pass through your body in 90 seconds to reveal complete joy - supposedly our base state. I never knew this to be true, but then I realized that our culture teaches us, to hold on the the pain to keep ourselves safe. It seems counterproductive, but it's true.

"Our Personality is Our Personal Reality" says Dr Joe Dispenza.

It is believed that every trauma comes from our conscious effort to stop the emotion’s route, of passing through the body and then eventually out of it - so we remember never to make those mistakes again. Almost every self-help teaching I’ve encountered (and I’ve encountered a lot) includes a stage to complete the emotion, to close the loop, to get through the emotional experience, and come out on the other side healed.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says, "Wisdom, is memory without the emotional charge." This means we can learn the lesson without being held back by it. It makes sense, right? Every time we go through something with a strong emotional charge—stress, embarrassment, shame, or regret—we tend to ruminate. We go over every minute of it, wondering how we could have responded better. We hold on to these emotions, thinking they’ll defend us in the future, but this actually keeps us reliving the same scenario over and over again. This stunts our personal growth. And eventually lead to procrastination or worst still “paralysis” in moving forward with risks in everyday life.

We then enforce and stack these “lessons” on top of the first, fearing we’ll forget why they were important. We play different scenarios in our minds, holding on to the pain as a reminder of the shame. This develops into a habit of automatic behaviors and emotional responses. And before you know it…a pot-hole starts to look like a valley.

The simple realisation (though not so easy to implement) is to finish the emotion. Allow it to complete its journey. Be curious instead of judgmental, and let it flow through and out of your body. This way, we can unlearn these fear-driven habits and level up to new experiences. The real lesson ahead is to face a future not colored by old fears and expectations, but to embrace the unknown.

More often than not, we remember our bad bits to punish ourselves. Sure, it starts because we want to protect ourselves. We amplify those emotions so we never make the same mistakes again. But after a while, we forget the lesson and get addicted to the emotion. The body becomes the mind, and unconsciously, we dip into the shorthand of the memory. This self-limiting self-talk develops into a belief that guides similar behaviors in future situations.

Year after year, this becomes a personality, and we believe this is who we are. But it's not.

By then, it's almost impossible to remember who we were. Except when we forget who we are… in those moments when we’re swept off our feet and lose ourselves. We forget who we’re “supposed” to be, how we’re “supposed” to act, and just fall in love with the moment - of joy, fear, or surprise. Not anger, though. Anger blinds us. But love… love floods us so we forget. And in that space, between thoughts… we remember our authentic self - of just being.

This time it lasts. We check ourselves and want to change. But how? The responsibilities and pragmatism of daily life swamp back in. But this time, we don’t allow ourselves to forget. We notice the distance between where we are and where we wish we could be. And define it as a dream, a goal… a mission (well at least for me).

Now we have a choice to make. Is it too much? Do we let it go and despair, or do we choose life? Choose to Change? Take that Risk! Allow yourself to suck at something new again… no-matter the age!

If you want change, you have to choose to change. Be committed to that choice and fight with conviction, with every fiber of your being… to break the habits that have kept you here, stuck. Change involves the unknown. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable. But it’s worth it.