Does it matter loving "me, myself and I"?

My father and I did not start on a good note. My earliest memory is when I was 2 or 3 years old, one beautiful summer evening. I was sitting on my mother's lap as she prepared supper. My mother would carry me around as she went about busying herself with preparing supper. Such a perfect woman, she didn’t put me down.

I don't remember her wanting to put me down, but my father thought I was bothering my mother and took his belt and hit me. He forced me to sit by myself and not on my mother’s lap. What was his problem?

When I was about 4 years old, I had forgiven him, then he found squiggles in his school plan book. He called me over and asked if I wrote in his book?

Naturally, I wasn’t the one. How could he prove it was me? There was my brother in grade one and my two older sisters in even higher grades. My father was sure I was lying and hit me again. Not for the squiggles, he said, but for lying. How did he know, I wonder?

?As far as I can remember this period of my life was perfect. My mother made sure my older sisters cared for my needs when she wasn't there. Carrying me around and making sure I was never hungry. The world truly revolved around me.

One terrible morning, I was told I had a little sister. Suddenly the world didn't even notice me. Even my own mother started strapping that baby on my back to go play with outside. It was all downhill from there.

Things started to change recently as I started listening to songs and reading books about self-love. These are a product of a self-esteem philosophy of the 1980s. The basic premise is, we are miserable because we don't love ourselves enough. Our childhood and school days were messed up.

I am not sure which causes more harm, songs like “I am the greatest” by R Kelly, "Hero" by Mariah Carey, the social media, or a school in Northwest of England where there are no naughty children.

?In that school, each child is special. No teacher is allowed to raise her voice and the children are reminded often how special they are.?I can see 'ye of little faith' asking, "What about those naughty and disruptive children?"

When the child is disruptive and not listening, the teacher sends him to another class. What about grades, you may wonder. When a child doesn’t do well in school, a separate letter is sent to parents telling them the child tried their best.

Despite the self-esteem promoting environment, the British government inspectors gave the school the worst possible rating. Self-love doesn't do children too much good, what about adults?

?Action

We will continue our conversation next week to see if self-love is a worthy goal for adults. Do you think you need to love yourself more, as the world is promoting these days?