Does a Gremlin Live Inside of You?
Eduardo dos Santos Silva
Building ? performance teams that deliver true digital transformation. Formerly with Novartis, Wipro, TCS and start-ups.
Intro
Your low self-confidence. Your "little voice". Your fears and need for external validation. The negative self-talk going on right now in your mind.
Rick Carson, author of the "Taming Your Gremlin", wrote a book and built a system to name all these things and - hopefully - change your relationship with yourself, or with the Gremlin that lives inside you.
Does it work?
It Works!
The book has been around for almost 40 years now. Then yes, a lot of it will feel like things you have read yesterday over the Internet.
The things that many are repeating over and over again: "just breath", "be the natural you", "let go of you can't control"...
Well, all those things are now know to be true, through research and through experimentation, and while the book may read a bit repetitive because of that, it adds specific exercises to help you getting it done.
What does the process look like? To quote the author:
Simply noticing
Choosing and Playing with Options
Being in Process
The Gremlins
One of the best values you can find in non-fiction books is the experience other people have had in years of their lives.
For Rick, that meant meeting many Gremlins - from his clients.
Even just mentioning their names may be enough for you to identify with one or more of them:
?? The General (rigid rules, complex discipline, perfectionism, always doing more)
?? The Artist (painting a great life, that can only be achieved once you... do that next thing you have to do)
?? The Hulk (nice and gentle on the outside, tense and miserable inside)
??The Big Shot (telling you constantly how much a nobody you are)
?? Coach Don Ledup (the kind that tells you "go go go", or "be number one" ... all the time, confusing being frenetic with being productive)
? Reverend Al Drydup (limiting your sexual life through guilt)
??Baba Rub Adub (leading to spiritual materialism)
??The Grim Reaper (living in a habit of suffering)
?? Little Miss What-the-Hell (losing all limits, and then feeling guilty for it later
As you can read, Rick is a very creative writer! That must be giving you another insight though: this is NOT an exhaustive list!
Matter of fact, part of the exercise proposed in the book is all about naming, and even drawing, your own Gremlin. Something I would recommend to do with a partner, to keep things honest.
Preferably, with someone with experience, who can share different angles. Chances are, your Gremlin will be a big mix of some of the above... and more!
To help with the exercise, try to come up with a list of myths you may be glued to, and try to understand how they are supporting your little monster.
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How do They Speak with You?
However late this comes in the book, I'd like to bring it forward, because it helps greatly to further understand the Gremlins, before working on them.
And it won't be a surprise... but Gremlins will use exactly those phrases and expressions that have been tantalizing you:
... or anything else that forces you to think the negative fantasies of your mind are real. Funny thing, how we can easily make it work for the negative, but hesitate to work with it on the positive.
Being aware of these chatting going on helped me learning more about my Gremlins, and shutting them up.
The Process - Simply Noticing
How much simpler can this be? Meditation and mindfulness have been part of my life for several years now, and it helps beyond dealing with Gremlins.
To support the readers in this process, the author proposes a few exercises, following some structures and writing how you feel to help you... simply noticing.
It is powerful. It can be done in other ways, too. It should be done a lot more often though, and writing these lines remained me of that.
The Process - Choosing and Playing with Options
What is really powerful around this section of the book is the suggestions on HOW to do that. Often times I have read books that talked about the importance of doing it, but without any pointers or support.
It may be very hard if you are doing for the first time!
In this book, the author suggests that you could:
?? Breathe and Fully Experience: embracing your emotions and feelings, whatever they are
?? Change for a Change: going for something that would be normally out of character for you, with the intent to check how it feels
?? Accepting the Obvious: meaning accepting the facts for what they are and then taking emotional distance from them
?? Just Imagining It: as you probably guessed, painting how it can be through the lenses of positive thinking
?? Revisiting and Re-Deciding: which means, allowing yourself the chance to be wrong, to feel like going into a different direction
Book Review
But wait! What about the "Being in Process" part of the process?
Guess what - keep doing it, over and over again, not because you are obsessed with some result, rather because you are genuinely curious to keep learning about yourself, and interested to keep connected with yourself.
Your natural self, I mean. Not the Gremlin.
About the book - should you read it?
Closing
This book was a suggestion from a great friend and former colleague, George Cherian ?? Life Coach . It was an insight into the author's experience, as well on George's and I am forever grateful for that.
"Life may be one damn thing after another, but it does not have to be the same damn thing over and over again."
It is a practical book, and one that reminded me of the importance to continue working on self.
How would your Gremlin look like? How would it be name?
Help me out with that - share here, or over DM if you feel that's social media oversharing!
Turning Complexity into Clarity, Words into Action, and Ideas into Legacies. Holistic Brand Strategy & Copywriting for Green, Ethical, and Purpose-Driven Brands | Human-Centric Copy that Wins Hearts and Inspires Change.
1 年I'm going to try your suggestions.
Thanks so much for summerizing it for us dear Eduardo dos Santos Silva. Love the name Gremlin for it!
Learning Engagement Manager | ICF Coach | Facilitator | PMI PMP
1 年I love this post Eduardo ??. By giving a name and a face to those negative inner thoughts, you can begin to separate them from your true self and start to see them as something outside of yourself. This makes it easier to recognize when they're cropping up and to take steps to counteract them.
I write about Ai and Business || Entrepreneur || Posts about my journey
1 年I will check out the article. I do have mine but never gave the name. I just acknowledge them then I park them to side so I can continue with whatever I need to do.