Does Emotional Resilience means we have to "be fine"?

Emotional Resilience means being able to "bounce back" from a trauma, or tough time. Many people take this as meaning that you HAVE to "be fine" a week after the incident. I know of a mother who had lost a child, and the week after the death, her own mother asked her if she " was over it yet". Seriously!

In order to heal properly from a trauma or challenge the only way to heal, is to experience it fully. Or to quote from Peter Lynch says, " the only way through it, is through it". This means that you need to feel the emotions related to the incident. What we don't feel, we can't heal. This doesn't mean that you are living in that emotion 24/7. What it means is that you don't block out the emotion when it comes up for you- you don't suppress it- you allow yourself to authentically feel it. Some of us may need professional help with dealing with the emotions- and that is also ok.

However society pressures us to always " be fine" or ' be okay". This delays our healing and often gets us stuck in the trauma, rather than healing from the trauma. So if you know of someone who is battling with something, don't expect them to always 'be fine". If you are battling with something allow yourself to FEEL those painful emotions, and work through them. This will facilitate healthy recovery from a trauma. And in time, you will "be fine".