Does a bit of empathy help in leading in challenging times

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article in LinkedIn titled “How about adding a dash of kindness to the leadership recipe” (https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/how-adding-dash-kindness-leadership-recipe-kiran-madhunapantula/)

There was a viral video in social media from the same time period which is still circulating on various platforms, where a senior manager of a large Indian bank would be seen shouting at top of his voice in a sales review meeting. Someone in that video call apparently recorded and coincidentally it was also leaked somehow. What followed was an obvious thing, the bank took action on the shouting manager and the whole incident remained as a meme later on.

If shouting were to help I would shout on top of voice on ‘Real Mathematics’, an exam I passed with great difficulty in my graduation.

When we hear about toxic work culture, we usually hear about it as an after effect. I guess most of the times the fear of losing something, creates a situation where an employee tolerates the humiliation, only to ventilate when he/gets out of the fear, in other words a resignation.

I came across a course on organizational empathy offered by a popular corporate coach. It deals with how empathy helps you in your work or job. Since my work also involves product innovations my thoughts moved to product design, then to management, and business operations. In product design, empathy finds a place in an empathy map that helps understand customers better. However, the emotional aspect of empathy is more important for all humans, including corporates. We should think from others' points of view and develop compassion and empathy towards people we work with, irrespective of their position in the hierarchy. I believe this empathy should be our guiding light in making important decisions, especially the ones that critically impact lives.

Put yourself in their shoes

Treat them as how you would like to be treated

Well, some might say, in the corporate world, empathy is all about strategies to gain profits or an advantage at work.

Now, should I dismiss this line of thought, because it is self-centred? Or carry on with it and promote it, because it is simply good? ?Well, empathy is no doubt good. My stand is that I would promote organizational empathy, not because it is profitable, but because it is good. It is a virtue. A virtue of human nature.

The other interesting thing I heard in a discourse recently, what happens to an angry man if everyone decides to not take offence and refuse to be humiliated?

Keep head cool and feet warm

And to verify my stand, I looked into philosophies.

Indian philosophies like many other great philosophies worldwide, elaborate concepts of empathy and kindness. They indeed prompt us to blend barriers. Sanskrit words are beyond words – they are deep philosophical concepts. Here are two words related to empathy that caught my attention- ahimsa (non-violence) and karuna (compassion).

Ahimsa is usually understood as non-violence. Since you can’t be violent towards yourself, non-violence also indicates oneness. The more popular concept of ahimsa as non-violence is narrated in many Jataka tales of Buddhism. Karuna is a similar concept that represents compassion. Mahatma Gandhi’s life reflects these two virtues, the basic reason why he is called a Mahatma (Great Soul)

You might say, these are different from empathy. That’s because empathy is a relatively new concept that was birthed in the early 20th century. It’s said to have been extended from the German word “Einfühlung” (or “feeling into”).

The concept of empathy has been researched by many and the research is going on.

Research suggests that empathy is a biased mechanism. It is very selective; we may be empathetic towards one person or a group over others. We tend to feel empathy towards our friends and people who are socially close.

Let this research not discourage you. Don’t give up on empathy just yet.

For me, as I delve further, it is empathy that helped human civilization progress. Every innovation and advancement in human history was possible as we humans as a team empathized with an existing problem or situation and responded to solve the problem with our creative faculties. Every organization needs to cultivate this virtue across its teams.

Here are some questions to ponder over.

How to show empathy towards our colleagues irrespective of whether they are our teammates or not. What does it take to imbibe empathy?

While there’s no doubt that empathy is good, a virtue, how can we practice it?

Bridge the Knowing and Doing gap

There does exist a significant gap between knowing and doing. One needs to put effort into learning, practice it consciously - how to put oneself in others' shoes. Since we all love lists – here are 8 habits I felt necessary to practice empathy for everyone’s benefit at the office. It is easier said than done, we might know more but do we do at least some of them?

1. Put yourself in others' shoes – We all face several everyday battles to fight. This recognition should help us balance professionalism with empathy, especially when mentoring people or managing their work. Professionalism doesn’t mean being authoritative, it is being objective when one needs to take action against a deed and understand and respect their subjectivities too.
2. Understand roles, times, and phases – Duties and rules vary across roles, times, and phases of methodologies. Understand their needs, wishes, and wants. Let your decisions help them experience satisfaction with their work.
3. Follow fairness – Most humans desire fairness, especially when they work in groups. If one team member is paid less or treated badly or overburdened with work, then it effects the entire team and even other teams.
4. Do not dismiss basic human emotions – Everyone has bad days and feels frustrated, angry, envious, jealous, and of course happy and satisfied. Let them not be judged for feeling various kinds of emotions, even jealousy and anger.
5. Having said that – no one needs to shout to be heard. If one follows it, it percolates throughout the system. Establish work protocols to ensure everyone behaves respectfully while providing them with ways to convey their opinions.
6. Don’t let empathy direct you toward stupid or unethical decisions. Empathy might make us take sides and not consider others’ viewpoints. Consider who is receiving your empathy and who is not. Check whether your empathy is biased.
7. Do not let empathy trigger anger or hatred. Balance your empathy with objectivity and view the whole picture. Do not let your emotive and volatile empathic responses direct your actions or decisions.
8. Yes, there’s a thing called too much empathy. Can surgeons perform surgery if they feel the pain of their patients? While one can wear others' shoes to understand them, one should not let others' pain numb oneself. Maintaining a sane mental distance is essential to continue showing kindness and compassion. Empathy is not a lived experience. It is a feeling to understand the situation and respond to situations. Empathise with the lived experiences of others.

Can you think of any other tips that help us stay empathic, especially at work and still be business like? Please let me know.