Do Your Part-- Make A Difference

Do Your Part

 The value was instilled early in my family: do your part. Don’t wait to be asked—if it needs doing, get it done. If you can help someone, somehow, somewhere, help. If you can make a difference, do it. 

Every day we face chances to either choose whether we will or whether we will not make a difference. Vote or don’t vote. Give or don’t give. Stop to help or drive on by. Take a moment and lend a hand or simply walk past. Or maybe it’s as easy as smile at someone or don’t smile. Each is a choice we make—consciously or not—as we go about our daily routines. 

This morning my inbox had a reminder from Kiva.org, a well-known microfinance non-profit I have supported almost since its inception. I had money repaid from loans made previously that could be re-loaned to other worthy individuals or groups worldwide who might otherwise not have access to needed capital to improve their lives. The loans are often small—usually a few hundred dollars spread across many Kiva donors to fund a project. Repayments trickle in slowly, usually in increments of a few dollars at a time. Loans are made in $25 increments—not a lot for most of us really but collectively they support widespread changes in the lives of the recipients. It took me a little more than 3 minutes to log in and re-loan the available money in my account to help fund another project (chickens in Guatemala so the village could raise and expand their food supply). 3 minutes out of my life to try and help another’s. 

Early this year my mother-in-law made the move from her single-family home where my wife was raised to an assisted living facility where she would receive better care daily than she could manage alone at home. She lived alone in a good-sized home in a friendly neighborhood with folks that watched out for her as she aged in place. The neighbors were what kept her from moving sooner—she adored how they were so nice to an elderly widow. 

We spent the next many months cleaning and sifting through the stuff one collects over nearly 60 years in the same home. We found and distributed the family photos and other sentimental things that only family would appreciate. The rest we gave away—literally. All donated. No garage sales, estate sales, no Craigslist posts. Just donated to a local thrift store non-profit who would sell the detritus of my mother-in-law’s life for pennies on the dollar and try and turn it into something good for someone else. Not everyone in the same position could be so generous and that’s OK—financially she had enough to get by without these things and she was in a position where she was able to help. And so she did.

The woman we hired to clean the home thoroughly before listing it was a referral from the Realtor we used. Walking through the house assessing the cleaning needed, she mentioned she was trying to buy in that town and asked if we were in town long enough for her husband to come by and see it. He came by quickly and they agreed-- it was the right size and layout for what they needed. We encouraged them to work with the Realtor, her friend who had referred her to us, and buy it. We let her know we’d be as helpful as we could to work something out since it was important to my mother-in-law that “nice people” buy the home and fit in with her friends in the neighborhood. 

After a couple weeks we got the news via the Realtor that these nice folks wouldn’t be able to buy the home. While they had good incomes between the two of them, they simply didn’t have sufficient savings to qualify for the down payment on a mortgage. Disappointed, we continued the listing and hoped for a buyer but knew the timing was poor—it was long after the summer buying window that would let a family settle in before school started. The offers we received were from professional ‘flippers’ who offered less than half what the home should have commanded had we listed in the early Spring and there was no way we were going to sell under those circumstances. Last week the Realtor let us know the listing was about to expire and asked if we wanted to hold off relisting until after the holidays. That prompted a conversation about finding the right buyers to live in my wife’s childhood home and whether the cleaning folks had ever found a place. They hadn’t and that led to a follow-up discussion about how my mother-in-law could help good people get a little help that might otherwise not be readily available to them.

Within a few hours we had structured a deal for them to ‘rent’ the home for 2 years with a portion of the rent being accrued into a down payment savings account we would hold for their benefit. The rental security deposit would be added to the down payment fund at the end of the two years. Knowing they expected to be able to qualify for a mortgage at the end of the rental period, we arranged for them to feel free to change the home to suit their needs as if they owned it immediately. Only structural changes that might affect marketability should something unforeseen happen preventing them from completing the purchase needed approval. Otherwise, they were to think of it as their home immediately. 

I have no doubt the family will care for the home lovingly. I have no doubt they will succeed and secure the financing needed to formalize the purchase two years from now. And I have no doubt they will fit in to the tightly bonded neighborhood quickly and easily making my mother-in-law proud to have been able to do her part toward making someone’s life just a little better, a little easier, and a little more joyful. She doesn’t have that many more years before she joins my father-in-law wherever souls go to in the great beyond. But when she does, she’ll go with the pleasure of having been able to do her part to make the world just a tiny bit better than it would have been had she not chosen to make a difference. And that's something we can all aspire to share with her when our souls take flight.