Do You Want Compliments or Feedback?

A little known part of my writing process is when I ask my wife for feedback, argue against all of her feedback, begrudgingly admit her feedback is amazing, apologize for initially arguing about her feedback, swear to never do that again and then repeat that process 100 times.

That’s an atrocious run on sentence, but it’s true. 

I’m in the middle of writing my 7th book right now and that’s exactly what is happening at the Acuff house. 

Since this isn’t her first rodeo, Jenny has developed a simple question she asks me after reading early drafts of my work.

“Do you want feedback or compliments?”

Most of the time, I want feedback. I want her to tell me what’s not working. I want her to poke holes in it and tell me where she got bored while reading it. I want her to speak honestly about whether I have written honestly. 

Usually, I can handle that feedback, but sometimes I can’t. 

In those situations, I’ll say, “Don’t tell me anything specific, just give me an overall opinion.”

Then she’ll say something like, “The idea is there, the words aren’t yet.” 

I can handle that. Most of the time. I’d be lying if I said there still aren’t moments where I overreact grumpily and tell her that my words are awesome and she’s very mistaken. We’ve only been married 18 years though and I plan on being a perfect husband very soon. 

Until then, Jenny is probably going to keep asking me if I want feedback or compliments. And with every new book I write, I’ll hopefully get better at saying, “Feedback please!”

P.S. The feedback Jenny gave me made “Finish” hilarious and helpful. I think you’ll love it. 

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