Do you want to change but can't!!

We are always in the process of either changing ourselves or others. Most of the time it is the others we try to change including our immediate relationships :). The much tougher thing to do is to change self. There are millions who have tried changing something or the other within themselves and have succeeded. There are millions who still want to and but have not been able to. This article is for those who have not been able to!! Please don't stop reading just because you have been successful :).

There are some basic questions you need to ask yourself:

1. Why do I want to change? - This is the list of all the reasons why you are wanting to change self and don't ignore the smallest reason. Sometimes those are the ones which help you change. These reasons are what you want to become not what you are today! So things like "I want to feel healthier" and not "I am overweight". This is about your future state of being.
2. Are you ready for change? - Simple question with a simple way of finding out. Rate on a scale of 1-10 your readiness to change. 10 being highest. After giving yourself whatever rating (lets say you have yourself 6 on readiness), ask yourself why I did not give myself 3 or 4. This is pushing your boundaries to think beyond your first answer.
3. Imagine you have starting living your changed self - This is about imaging you are living the changed life you wanted. Imagine everything the way you are living and people are behaving around you. Keep this vision alive everyday. Every morning and every night before you sleep, visualise this future self you have started living. Do not give up even if you do not see change. This is a very important step towards change. Keep at it at least for 2 months.
4. Why is this important for you - Start writing on a piece of paper why is this change important to you. Whatever reason you give, ask another Why for that reason. And then another why and another why (4 times total). This helps you dig deeper into your real reasons instead of just answering the top thing that comes to your mind. Don't fool yourself..nobody else is seeing this. Be honest!!
5. Next Steps - write down the next steps that you plan to do. Also create a way of accountability for yourself. How will you keep on this path and not go away. It could be an external structure or an internal structure like Salman Khan (If I say something, I don't even listen to myself after that!!). Also, these need to be small steps not large leaps.
6. How will you come back on track - Also create for yourself, if by any chance, the process gets derailed, how will you come back on track. What will need to happen or you need to do to get back. This has to be a hard structure which can wake you up again. Not some light reminder.

The process will help you self reflect and move forward towards the change you have always wanted. Its important to trust the process. Our belief system is very strong and if you believe the process works, it will work. So stay strong and stay focused :)

About the Author: Rajat Garg is a Master Certified Coach (coach-to-transformation) and works with Leaders across the Globe to help them understand where they want to reach and support them to reach there.