Do You Want to Build Your Difficult Conversation Muscle?

You need to have a difficult conversation and you are putting it off or overthinking how to say best what you know needs to be said? You know I shared with you before that relational conflict is a disagreement we have within ourselves or with someone else that negatively impacts our quality of life.

Here's the thing with difficult conversations, typically there are four common trouble areas that we get hung up in.

The first one - when should I say it?

Should I say it now? Should I wait till later tonight? Maybe put it off till next week or even next month? When should I say this?

Secondly, we get hung up here - should I even say it?

I mean, if I say it - is it going to change anything? is this person going to see what I'm saying to them as important enough to make a change so this relationship can improve?

Thirdly we get hung up here - how should I say this to this person?

And that can be due to us fearing how they are going to receive what we say?

Maybe this person is the type of person that they go from zero to 100 real quick or maybe this person is the type of person that the slightest thing you say to them hurts their feelings and you don't want to be the person who hurts their feelings?

So, you're sitting there and you're wondering how should I say it - what verbiage should I use to communicate what I need to share?

That lends to the fourth common trouble area - how are they going to react?

Yes. Are they going to become explosive? Are they going to become emotionally charged? I mean - what type of reaction am I going to get from saying what I want to say?

Here's what you need to know. Getting stuck in any of these four common trouble areas, these traps, I like to call them conversational traps. It can lead to us not showing up confident to the conversation because we are stuck in fear.

We're stuck in doubt. We're stuck in wondering whether or not what we have to share is going to be received well whether or not it's going to make a difference. I want you to know that no matter how eloquently, how thoughtful you try to communicate with with someone else - there is always the possibility that it's not going to be well received.

Remember, it's a difficult conversation. So, if you're going to exercise your communication muscle - if you're going to build your communication muscle, you have to use it in spite of it not being easy. It wasn't going to be easy to begin with - that's why it's called a difficult conversation.

So, as you go to have these difficult conversations, you must be clear on the beneficial why. When I say that I'm simply saying after having this conversation or because you're having this conversation, what is the beneficial gain that the conversation will have in your life, or in their life, and sometimes in both of you all's lives.

Once you get clear on that - then it stops you from focusing on all these other factors. Because although they are important, if you never get out what you have in your mind, then change can never occur; especially positive change - because that's what you're wanting here.

You're wanting to be able to communicate what you have inside to this other person to where they can receive it and there can be a relationship shift - meaning the relationship shift can go in a different direction for the better.

Like I said before, we all have emotions. it's normal. it's natural, but what's not normal is when we allow them to control - to dictate - to determine how we show up in the world and in our relationships.

I want you to keep in mind that whenever you go to have a difficult conversation -before it, during it, and after it, it's not about feelings. It's not about emotions. It is about you taking the time making the investment to do what's in your best interest.

Because you can't live your best life, if you won't do what's best in your life.

So, I want you to remember that...

"When you are clear on the conversational benefit, you show up to address any relationship conflict with confidence because you know that it will improve your quality of life."

"24 hours doesn't seem long, but in 24 hours you can change your life; so go ahead and do something life-changing now." Visit Coach Sam on YouTube @cesamempowers