Do You Want To Be A Better Negotiator?

Face it -- you can't become a better negotiator just by reading my LinkedIn Pulse posts all day (although, arguably, that's the second best thing you can do).  That's like learning how to fish or ride a bike by watching YouTube videos.  Just like any other skill, you have to get out there and actually start doing it -- systematically, deliberately, diligently -- in order to get better at it.

Here are three daily tips to help you become a better negotiator.

1. Prepare systematically

Don't wing it.  Just don't.  Don't think that you'll sit at the table and "roll with the punches." As I said in a previous post, that's like an Army General thinking: "Psch, there's no need for strategy.  Let's get straight to war and shoot left and right as we move forward."

Ridiculous, right?

Instead, prepare systematically.  Sit down with your colleagues (or at least with your thoughts) and answer a few questions: what do I want to get out of this negotiation?  If I don't have a deal, what will I do?  What can I offer the other party to help him agree with me?  Then put yourself in the other party's shoes and ask these same questions again.  Remember:

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

At my firm, we use the Seven Elements tool developed by Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton and co. at the Harvard Negotiation Program.  Click here for a sample prep sheet based on this tool.

2. Negotiate deliberately

There's no better way to become better at negotiating than by actually negotiating.  A lot.  A very whole lot.  In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell contends that it takes 10,000 hours of hands-on practice to become a world-class expert in a given field.  Negotiation is no exception.  The more you actually do it, the more you'll become comfortable doing it, and the better you'll be at it.

However, practice does NOT make perfect.  Instead:

"Perfect practice makes perfect."

If you negotiate ineffectively -- for example, by being impulsive and refusing to listen -- you'll simply become better at doing it... the wrong way.

Instead, negotiate deliberately.  Be mindful of your negotiation prep and stay in line with it.  Be aware of what's going on as you negotiate -- are you getting closer to agreement?  Are you building trust or breaking it?  Are you focusing on mutual interests?  Are you listening like you should?  Be in the moment.  Take notes.

3. Review diligently

Your learning process does not end with the negotiation.  After you shake hands (or not), it's absolutely essential that you take a moment with colleagues, or at least with yourself, to analyze what just took place.  The notes you took at the table will help you remember the highlights of your dealmaking.

Review diligently.  As you recount the negotiation scene by scene, try to group your analysis into three buckets:

• WWW: What worked well?  Which of your actions took you closer to beneficial agreement?  For example, did you come up with creative solutions to the problems at hand?  Identify these, and make sure you build on them in the future.
• Delta: What should be changed?  What could you have done differently to positively impact the negotiation process or outcome?  For example, should you have found common interests before jumping to business?  Identify these in order to improve your performance for your next dealmaking.
• Stop! What should be avoided?  We all make mistakes.  Here, identify your actions which didn't hold merit and took you further from agreement.  For example, maybe you shouldn't have made a joke with a person from another culture?  Identify these and avoid them at all costs.

Bringing It All Together

If you're really interested in becoming a better negotiator one deal at a time, then keep a negotiation journal.  Yes, you read it right: a notebook where you perform all three of the above steps one after the other, for each negotiation you participate in.  That way, you'll be able to track your results for each dealmaking opportunity and your progress over time.

I've been keeping a journal for the past several years, and it's now filled with cases and experiences along with their many solutions and lessons learned.  When I'm stuck in a negotiation, I flip through the pages for inspiration on tips and tested solutions which can be used anew, often with better results.

Need Help?

You've probably noticed that negotiation and dealmaking are passions of mine, and I always seek opportunities to add value by coaching and consulting.  Whether you're looking for professional practice, advice, or simply fresh ideas, touch base with me via LinkedIn or drop me a note at [email protected], and I'll be very happy to assist.

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Stay tuned for more on dealmaking every week by clicking the "Follow" button above.  For my previous LinkedIn Pulse columns on law, dealmaking, and strategy, see this link.

Stepan Khzrtian (Cantab '11) is co-founder and Managing Partner of LegalLab Law Boutique (www.legallab.co) and co-founder of the Center for Excellence in Negotiation (www.cen.am).  Trained in advanced dealmaking at Harvard Law School, he has been engaged in coaching and consulting on negotiation for nearly 10 years, working with clients to successfully close deals with Fortune 500 companies and empowering officials and officers to best serve constituencies. 

He writes on law, dealmaking, and strategy.