Do You Struggle With Your Mom?
Candice A. Harper CHt, MFA
Love is your birthright, Sis. Partner - Black Leaders Worldwide??
Hello Goddess,
So Mother's Day was a few months ago and I'm wondering how yours went.
As you know, I often talk about the influence our relationship with our mothers has on our lives. However, I don't just talk about it. I teach about it. I teach clients how to reconcile this complex relationship because it most directly?affects our love life, whether we realize it or not.?
I reminisce about my?relationship with my mother pretty regularly. She transitioned from the Earth over two years ago but I still feel her presence in a powerful, visceral, and very loving way.?This was NOT?always the case when she was alive.
There was a time when I would have done whatever I could to distance myself from her and?our?tumultuous relationship. Well into my adulthood we had emotionally violent arguments, long stretches without speaking, family triangulation, and basically?just a lot of turmoil.?
If you had asked me just 14 short years ago, I would have?described her as a monster, a narcissist, and a liar. I hated her deep down. However, I couldn't see how my hatred was dictating and sabotaging my life choices.
Even more so, I did not recognize what it was doing to my love life.?
My resentment impacted how I felt about myself. I felt guilty but also invalidated. I stayed?"angry" to mask my sadness. I was highly perfectionistic and self-critical. I was everything to myself that she taught me (by example) to be; even when I did my best to avoid being like her.?
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It took years for me to shift this relationship. And it?started with my relationship with myself. In short, I had to learn some things that she was unequipped?to teach me.?When I did begin to shift it, everything (and I mean EVERYTHING changed). I was able to leave an abusive relationship. I was able to get healthy and drop extra weight. I changed the trajectory of my business.
Ultimately, my relationship with myself began to flourish and I attracted?a mate for my soul.?It took me some time, but I got educated to?teach others how to start and complete?their healing process a lot faster?(and younger) than I did.?
Last May, I offered a complimentary workshop entitled 'We're Finally Speaking: From Friction to Freedom With The Strong Woman Who Raised You.' I shared the secrets of exactly how I healed this relationship and how it freed me to be able to mourn her passing and grieve in a healthy and (believe it or not) life-affirming way.?
Healing this relationship is one of the most important things I teach my clients to do.?I don't hold back. The?process?I teach is a powerful?key to healthy, loving relationships. Do you want to commit to healing this relationship for yourself, regardless of whether she changes? ?I can show you how. Check out Samantha's video testimonial.?
If you feel compelled to have a conversation, send me a message or leave a comment.
Love you so much!
DNR-Discipline's No Reason. Senior Biology Teacher
8 个月Impressive post.Candice A. Harper? Great for insightful subscription newsletters relating to "Challenging adult relationship with your mother"