Do You Sabotage Your Success?

Wonder why you can’t get yourself to do the things you know you need to do?

You made your resolutions. You even made your dream board. You know what you need to do. But you can’t seem to make yourself do it. You want to lose weight, you got organic healthy food in the house, but then that overwhelm feeling takes hold and you go out and buy a bag of candy bars and inhale them. This is the year you are determined to declutter your office, and you laid everything out to be filed but after ten minutes you’re bored, the voice “are we done yet” pops in your head and you shove everything back in the boxes. Now instead of two boxes there are three of papers and stuff you don’t know what to do with. You are committed to growing your business, you made a list of ten people to call but first you had to answer emails first, fold the laundry, clean the kitchen and the calls never get made. You sabotage yourself.

Why is that? Self-sabotage can be described as a combination of negative thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors, caused by low self-esteem and confidence. When you consciously want something but subconsciously make sure you don’t get it, your saboteur is at work. Self-sabotage is also a way to manage our emotions or cope with stressful situations. To the extreme they can be seen in life threatening addictions. I am talking here about subtle behaviors and thought patterns that hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives

In a nutshell, there are:

• Lack of desire
• Lack of decision
• Lack of belief
• Lack of support

Lack of Desire: “Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire, which transcends everything.” — Napoleon Hill

Before you start working towards a goal or a purpose, you need to make sure that you have a vision, a clear picture as to what you exactly want to achieve. This can be applied to all areas of life. We need to create a picture in our minds of where we want to be, who we are with, what we are doing and feeling for our health and wellness, relationships, fun and adventures, personal growth, creative expression, money time freedom. When we see ourselves doing something we want to achieve, it is easier to stay on task, stay motivated to do what is hard.

 Most of us know what we don’t want. We don’t want to be fat. We don’t want to be hoarders. We don’t want to be in debt. We don’t want a relationship with a man who is uneducated, thoughtless or sickly. In reality we want a rock star, one sexy hunk with long hair, plays a guitar, makes millions, writes lyrics that touch your soul, raises funds for children in need, kisses that melt your heart and sweeps you off your feet. But we water down our dreams to protect ourselves from disappointment or catastrophe. What would people say? He is nice, sweet, kind, dependable… that should be enough.

I have three big bold dreams and I have no idea how they are going to happen yet. The first one to speak at the United Nations, the second is to give a Ted talk seen by a million people and the third is produce a Dream A Better World Television show a combination of personal development and leadership. Where did these dreams come from? Some have said that is my ego speaking. No it is not. I could not have thought those dreams up on my own.

 Wallace D. Wattles in The Science of Getting Rich says it beautifully. He tells the story of a young boy playing the piano who gets very upset. He asks him why” he says I can hear the music in me, but I can’t make my hands go right. The music in him is the URGE of Original Substance, containing all the possibilities of life…God, the One Substance, is trying to live and do and enjoy things through humanity.” The dreams you have are the Infinite seeking to express by means of you.

What are your big audacious dreams? Don’t let yourself off the hook. Own them even if someone else says they are crazy.

Lack of Decision: First we have to discover what we love and then we need to make a decision for that dream. We have to stop listening to the voice that says be sensible, it is not the right time, things are fine the way they are. Decisions give us a sense of strength and certainty. When a decision is made, every action step we take reflects back our decision and we can ask ourselves,” does this get me closer to my goal or is it a distraction.” We need to be committed to our dreams, only then can we receive ideas, opportunities and resources which will propel us forward that might not be available otherwise.

Jim Carey, dropped out of school to be performer. His father helped him write his act and drove him to the Yuk Yuk club to perform. He was decent but knew he needed to hone his craft. He had faith in his dreams and made a decision he was going to be a highly paid actor. When he was broke and out of work he wrote himself a check for 20 million dollars for services rendered and put it in his wallet. He would drive up to Mulholland drive and look at lights, open his arms and say” I am a popular actor, every director wants to work with me, and I only work with the best people. “When he drove down the mountain he said he could feel the energy of knowing he already was a success, he knew his purpose was to make people smile, laugh and forget their troubles. Are you ready to make a decision, put a stake in the ground for your dreams?

Lack of Belief: You are your own worst nightmare, your biggest critic and the co-creator of your own life. With that freedom, you have the power to decide who you are and who you’d like to become. Many of our own beliefs have actually stemmed from the comments of others. We have allowed others’ thoughts about us to have so much power that we believe that is who we are. When you are beating yourself up saying things like “I am stupid, ugly, fat and lazy, no one will love me or I am not good enough” whose voice do you hear? Notice what you are noticing. The good news is that we have the power of choice. Once aware of this power, we can take action to break the cycle and replace those limiting beliefs once and for all.

We get to choose what to think about ourselves. If we’d like to transform our life, make our dreams a reality, we must learn to re-program our thoughts and keep them positive.

I AM are two of the most powerful words we can say. Joel Osteen the pastor of Lakewood church says” What follows I am will always come looking for you.” So turn the negatives upside down. Turn I am stupid into I AM Smart. I am fat and lazy into I AM fit and responsible. I am unlovable becomes I AM lovable. What are you ready to declare?

Lack of Support: How many of us let go of a dream because it got hard? It seemed to be taking too long. It did not work out exactly like we thought so we took it as sign. I know in my own life, up until now there has been a big learning curve with technology and over the years I was ready to give up and numerous points. My webinars did not record. I had 30 people sign up for a teleseminar and no one showed up. I had a live event and everyone left for the train before I could invite them into my coaching program. I could have said enough I am not meant to do this. But because I stayed in a container of support. I have worked with the same awareness coach for over three years. She helped me see patterns and beliefs that kept me stuck. She held my hand and wrapped her arms around me when I doubted myself. I was able to publish my award winning book, The Creative Activist. Become a successful world class coach, heal a relationship, and lose 65 pounds. I want to be that support for you.

Your life is supposed to be special. I want you to have this thought rise up in you several times a day. I love my life. You are meant to accomplish all your dreams, you just have to realize that its subconscious programing and old behaviors that keep you stuck. Don’t give up on the dream, continue to work towards it every day. Make sure you have a burning desire, you make a decision, reprogram your mind and get in system of support because whatever you focus on will show in physical reality.

If you are 100% committed to making your dream a reality in 2018, call me about setting up a free private call. Together we can make this the most abundant, joyful and fulfilling year of your life. I would love to hear from you!

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847.948.0315