Do you remember the moment when everything changed?

The moment you knew, no matter how hard you hoped, would eventually arrive??

Losing someone is hard. Watching someone with a terminal illness sucks;?losing someone you love deeply is a pain that can't fully be described.?[We will talk about the inadequacies of language where grief is concerned in the podcast.] But?if you are here and you are grieving, we really are truly sorry –?and we hope we will be able to offer some comfort with this grief pod.?

Friendship and grief?

So who are we??We are Hilary and Heather, and we?each lost a parent to illness at around the same time. We've been friends since Season 2 of Friends was being aired...so quite a long time! And it was in that friendship that we found a lot of comfort.?We spent the early stages of our grief walking and talking; we’d call each other up and talk (and talk, and talk!) about how hard it felt, and it was during those conversations that we realised how much we knew, or didn’t know, about the whole process of loss – from diagnosis to the end. Hilary was fortunate in that she had access to all sorts of information about the medical and palliative care systems; Heather was reading and listening to anything she could find that would help me make sense of how she felt.

So why are we making?a podcast about grief?

Looking back, there is so much we wish we’d understood, so much we wish we weren’t frightened to understand. We wanted to share this information and help others, and we also love to talk –?so a podcast felt like a good fit.??If this project?helps even one person who has gone through (or is going through) this, then it was worth sharing what we had learnt and are still learning.

Of course, grief is a very individual experience – there is no one way to grieve and no checklist to work through to help you heal. We both know how lonely it can feel to go through this. We want the podcast to feel like a conversation with friends – friends who get how it feels, friends who have been there, friends who want to have those big conversations to help you move through it.

We describe our podcast as ‘weirdly uplifting’. That’s because – as we now know – it’s possible to find humour and enjoyment in life, even in the depths of your grief. Yes, we’ll be talking about difficult things, but there will probably be a lot of laughter along the way, too. They say ‘laughter is the best medicine’ for a reason.

So yes, everything has changed. But that doesn’t have to mean a full stop. Things will continue to evolve: you, how you feel, what you learn, and the relationship with the person you’ve lost. We really hope that by sharing some experience, useful information and even the odd giggle via the podcast, you might find some comfort, whichever stage you're at along this difficult path. Everything Has Changed is a podcast about grief, but it’s also a podcast about living – how you continue to live.

We'll be launching the podcast in Spring 2024. Stay subscribed for updates, and in the meantime, feel free to share this newsletter?with anyone you think might find it helpful

You Are Not Alone, by Cariad Lloyd

Heather loves the podcast Griefcast, by comedian Cariad Lloyd, and pre-ordered her book in February. She found the?recognition and understanding she was looking for –?it reassured her that it wasn't 'just her'.

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The Meyerowitz Stories

If you're looking for a film exploring the complex relationships we can have with our parents, this could be the one. We found it?poignant and?darkly funny and very relatable (plus it has an amazing cast!).

WATCH

Let's Talk About...Grief

This weekly podcast focuses on mental wellness, and this particular episode gives advice on how to look after your mental health during times of grief and loss?– whether a person or a set of circumstances.

LISTEN