Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!
Ken Carlson PCC, CPCC and Petra Russell PCC, CPCC, ELI-MP - Prickly Pear

Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!

I coach leaders at some of the biggest and most well-known companies in the world. I’ve coached over 1000 leaders in over 30 countries.

I’ve coached people at all levels from IC to CEO to Entrepreneur to Professor to neighbor to Barista.

With all of these coachees from all these different backgrounds—it seems where almost everyone gets stuck is in managing upwards.

It’s nearly every day that I am talking to a client who simply wants to know:

  • How do I convince my leadership what we need to do?
  • How do I get more resources?
  • How do I show my leader that I am ready for the next step?
  • How do I get my boss to have my back?


I have one question for them: “Do you know what keeps your boss up at night?”

“No.”

“What do you talk about when you meet with him or her?“

“I give them an update on all that I am doing and tell them about the team.”

“Do you ever find out what is happening for them with their leadership, what challenges they are facing, who they trust, and what motivates them?”

“Ummm, no, should I?”

The same truth about leadership is true no matter what direction we are going.

“Leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less.” ~John Maxwell

Whether we are leading our team members who report to us or we are leading the CEO of our company who is 5 levels above us on the org chart, we are leaders.

Sometimes we forget that our bosses are people and this is where we go all wrong. Start by humanizing them. Find out what keeps them up at night. Listen to them. I mean really listen. Don’t try to solve a problem. Just listen. To completion.

Then leave. Trust that they believe you heard them because you paid such marvelous attention and didn’t interrupt and really sought to understand what it was that they are going through.

This will transform your leadership. I have client after client reporting to me that when they do this simple activity of getting in their bosses world, everything about the relationship changes.

Caveat: your care and concern for them must be authentic. Authentic care—you can’t fake to care about what matters to them and then hope to have further influence with them.

Truth is that this level of care inspires people and increases their engagement in return.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Aug 1: The Difference Between Good Leaders and Great Leaders is How Much They Care (About People)

July 25: Better Living Through Chemistry—Until There is a Shortage

July 19: Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do

July 12: What Is My Purpose? What Happens When High Performers Feel Defeated?

June 28: The Art of Really Listening…Doing a Listening Fast

June 20: "It's Everything"

June 13: Listening to Completion

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

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