Do You Really Have Full Control of Your Emotions?

When you realize that a big deal you're expecting to close is not happening, does that trigger your emotions? Do you really have control of your emotions?

Take this example: A Vice President of Sales and a National Account Manager went to San Francisco to renew a $5 million contract. Their customer wanted all contracts to be reduced by 8% to get into the black.?

My client could not offer an 8% reduction. Instead, they decided to restate their value proposition and show how they could save more than 8% without actually giving the 8%. They brought that proposal into the meeting.

However, when the negotiator looked at the proposal and realized there was no 8% decrease, he ripped it in half, threw it on the floor, stomped on it, and said, "Over my dead body, will I sign this."

The Vice President whispered to the National Account Manager, "It's time to go."?

The National Account Manager was triggered and said, "How can we go? It’s a business deal. We can't leave like this."?

The VP of Sales replied, "It's either a tactic to get us to decrease our price, or he's really ticked off. Either way, he's not listening."

They went back to New Jersey and called me. After asking a few questions, I gave two suggestions to the VP.

Number one, they were negotiating on the wrong issue. They had to pivot to the right issue. I showed them how to do it.

Number two, I suggested that the VP leave the National Account Manager behind because he was at loggerheads with the other negotiator. Until you remove that obstacle, you will not move forward.

The VP accepted both ideas and went into the meeting, stating that if a deal was going to be done, it would be today because he had the power to do so. Then, he pivoted to the real issue and restated the value proposition, which was finally heard. Within two hours, he secured the renewal of the $5 million contract.

So, the question is: We're all going to hear bad news as a leader or salesperson. When you do, over something that you are really counting on, and you're thinking about the negative impacts it's going to have on you, do you get triggered? The answer is yes, we all do.

But now the question becomes: What do you do when you get triggered??

Do two things:?

1. Remove yourself from the situation so you can see it more objectively.?
2. Call in a neutral party who can see it from a different perspective and help you find a better path forward to get to where you want to be.

How do you handle situations when you feel triggered? Share your strategies in the comments below.

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