Do you really feel comfortable in your own skin?

Why shedding baggage from the past will lighten the load!

I have a major confession to make. In all my 62 years thus far, I have never really felt comfortable inside. There has always been something major dragging on my general attitude.

Of course, there are times when I have felt great and things are going well, however there was always so much going on; it was more a scramble to get through life than a clear passageway or pathway.

Why is that?   It was a fight to hold one’s place all the way, every day.

I have also confessed to myself that I have battled depression since childhood. 

It comes from growing up in household that was almost gladiatorial.

Constant criticism, ridicule, physical encounters and acerbic word play were the norm..

So that’s what I grew up with…. fighting for any kind of recognition…even getting any attention during the normal course of a day.

This was all underpinned by the dog eat dog attitude in the home.

So, there are certain decisions as a young man that are made as a result of what you DON’T want in your life.

What I set out to create with my own family was HARMONY...swimming in supportive words, encouragement and patience. Being careful to note that every word you say is being taken in...so make em good ones!

Now how does all this related to feeling good in your own skin?

Throughout my life, and yours most likely too, there has always been some sense of scramble to keep up. There has always been an underlying fear about not being good enough. It is a challenge to your own attitude when you are constantly or often told you are useless, not up to scratch, could have done better, why didn’t you do… never GOOD ENOUGH. Remember that when you deal with your kids as well as self-talk.

There have been issues of the what if’s.

What if I screw it up.

What if I say the wrong thing.

What if people think I am stupid.

What if I make a fool of myself trying this?

The what if’s come from criticism…. either from self-talk, or someone else you allow to reach you with their opinion of you and your performance.

This is why you need to build in self-protection methods....tantamount to an inner confidence.

What I decided to do was have a gigantic purge on the inside…a releasing and letting go of literally hundreds of upsetting incidents in my life.  You know how you can hang onto little or major hurts for a long time?  They can fester and get the better of you. They also waste your time, end friendships…looking in the rear-view mirror when you have a lovely wide clean, sparkling windshield to gaze though into the world and the road ahead.

It has taken months of conscious effort.

I characterize this process as the cleaning of the whiteboard.

It is a simple trigger that has been installed in my mind. Every time I think of one of these incidents, people, situation or outcomes that has devastated me in the past…I visualize a ‘whiteboard’ and me wiping it clean about something specific.

You will see it’s not easy at first. How do I imagine this incident being wiped off the board and simply moving on?  You have to work at it and repeat the mental picture every time it haunts you!

Its been ingrained a long time….it will take a bit to shift it.

The grand affirmation to myself is, I have wiped the slate clean…I am free and clear to feel great, to feel free and to feel excited with no caveats, conditions or drag.

It is amazing how it works to lighten the load on the inside.

A warning: You don’t just passionately say this to yourself; I have wiped the slate clean. 

There is the work to do too! Its mental and emotional work.

It can be draining and upsetting stirring up all the hurts you have had in life…however to rid yourself of the baggage that goes with all that (the inner weight of attached emotions) is a different matter.  All your 'crap you no longer need, will eventually work its way to the surface to be dealt with.

In my case years of concentrated and purposeful effort, I am still working at it.

When its all said and done, the purpose of life is to FEEL JOY inside, freely and unashamedly…. then share it! Like me, you may have had several goes at this… simply feeling good inside about everything!

As the movie character of Albert Einstein said in film HQ, “when was the last time you went wahoooooo?”

It is easy to fall into a set pattern in life. It is easy to slip into a routine.  It is easy to allow a feeling of hopelessness invade you…so don’t.  Simply DECIDE.

Even the very act of deciding, has much power in it. Take charge.

It can be overwhelming, so start out small and work up and you will be amazed how much room there seems to be on the inside when you rid yourself of past crap and just let it go.

My thoughts are to rid myself of all that stuff I no longer need…and make more room for more prosperity to flood in.

All it takes to start this process is decide…. there is tremendous power in simply making a start!

Village to Villa

Happy travels and big love from Neil.