Do you really care?

Dear Reader,

When was the last time you told yourself you love yourself??If, by all means, there has already been a moment that you've let this thought cross your mind, let alone these words run over your lips...

Most of us just did not grow up in an environment that applauded us, or even taught us, to put ourselves first.?It was all about giving the best of yourself, and preferably all your love, to others, leaving yourself - without knowing it - depleted.

On that matter, I remember being my own worst enemy, without even realising it. Until in 2012, a psychotherapist?I?visited, after a series of traumatic events, looked at me and said, "My dear, on a scale from 1 to 10 - 1 being an altruist, 10 being egoistic?- you should move far up the scale, because you are way too altruistic, which isn't healthy neither." You?should have seen my face ... and then he added, "I'm not telling you to become egocentric or super selfish, but you do need to start thinking more about yourself and your boundaries."

A few years later on a yoga and detox retreat in Jamaica - organised by the fabulous Sharon Feanny - where I also learned about neuro-dynamic breathwork, this theme of self-love (God, how I used to struggle with that word!) came up again amongst both men and women. And what they told us there is so true that it became one of my mantras: "You can?only give the best of yourself to others, if you first give the best to yourself."

"Create more impact whilst living a fulfilled life"

So, if you want to level up in life, create more impact, be a better leader, and live a more fulfilling life, it all starts with exactly that: putting yourself and your needs first. In a loving, caring and empathic way. As great as it may be to care for others, it's just as important to be mindful of yourself, because the way you treat yourself and talk to yourself will have a severe impact on how you deal with other people.?

I know this is easier said than done, and in reality, a fair amount of assisted shadow work and guided inner child work is needed to break through the deeply rooted blockages, trauma's and that oh so common critical voice in our head. This is called "walking on the road of courage and bravery" to tackle and dissolve your self-destructive patterns; stepping into the dark to embrace your emotions, bring them into the light and reframe them. At least, if you are tired of the band-aids and patchwork, and are committed to creating long-lasting change.

Take the first step today

Yet, today you could already take the first step by giving yourself a compliment, a hug, some time to breathe into yourself and let a soft smile emerge on your face, breathing deep into your belly, cultivating that warm inner smile from your pelvic area, spreading it through your body until it reaches your face, your lips and puts a loving, sparkling glow into your eyes.

I'm not asking you anything but to give this a try. Do it today, and then again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and FEEL it, until it becomes a conscious daily practice.

Of course this has to go beyond affirmations, I'm not going to lie. You have to integrate it, embody it, work it. You have to own it, without faking it. It is about listening to your body and letting yourself being guided by what it has to tell you. For now though, I'll put you up with some simple suggestions to give you a head start into your awareness:

• "I choose to be kind to myself."
• "I will give myself the love and patience that I give to others."
• "I love how I feel when I allow myself to be happy."
• "I am releasing painful words from my past and replace them with a calm, loving voice of positivity."
• "I can love myself while I work on myself."
• "I am working on me for me."
• "My journey of self-love means giving my mind some time to rest."

Practice this, expressing your love from within and you'll notice all the little signs on your way. If there is something that I discovered during 20 years of solo travel, it is that there are signs everywhere, whether it is in a heart shaped stone, the smile of a stranger, a sudden invitation for a coffee or dinner, a meaningful conversation, a heart shaped leaf, clouds with a specific formation, ...

Care! Give yourself the love you so freely give to others!

Karen

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