Do you push through, or are you a pushover?

Do you push through, or are you a pushover? It’s a question I asked somebody recently, when they'd basically given up. They’d given up on themselves, their mission, their vision, their thoughts, their feelings, their hope of ever having the business they wanted. You see the thing is, building a business is bloody hard. It's really easy to be a pushover to yourself, let alone others, and if you're a pushover to others, then you are definitely going to be a pushover to yourself.?

We learn this from the adults in our world when we're younger, from our parents typically, or whoever parented us. This comes from the nurturing parent that says, “Ahhh, you don't have to do that today, you don't have to go there, that's not important, this is what is important, you take care of you have a rest”. If you've had that kind of parent in your life, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about because that is the parent that lets you off the hook. The one that is stopping you from pushing forward, pushing through, and getting to where you want to go. You are becoming a pushover to your own inner nurturing parent.

If you had a parent that was more the “come on, get on with it, get up, you can't go out until you've done it”, then you'll be really pushy with yourself. You'll be pushing through, too hard! There has to be a Goldilocks in the middle of this somewhere, where we know our limits and when to stop, and we know our limits to not push, push, push, so that we get to burn out.?

Your controlling parent will typically be the one that says, “what's wrong with you, you should do that, everyone else is doing this, get on with it, this is what's going to happen if you don't do this”. That real kind of eugh on the side of your shoulder - that voice that is really egging you on and probably making you hate on yourself.

I wonder what would happen if you could combine both of your parenting styles inside of your head so that you could nurture yourself and give yourself really soft, beautiful ways of moving forward. And of course, this way, you could parent yourself when you really do need a bit of a kick up the bum because we all need that at times. That way you would be just pushing forward, moving forward gracefully at the right pace for you.?

Moving forward with pace and grace.?

This is how the unconscious mind really likes to do things - little steps at a time, moving towards a known goal or outcome. If that goal isn't known, then you don't know where to go, and if that goal is massive, the brain will be scared. And that's when the nurturing parent says, “don't worry, it's okay - you've earnt enough, you've learnt enough, you've done enough, you are enough, you can just stay exactly where you are”. And that'll keep you stuck in your current limit.?

If you've got that going on, then come and speak to me. Whichever one of these you’ve got going on that is anything but that beautiful pace, that flow that we hear people talk about where you're enjoying your life, enjoying your business, building your business, building everything that you've ever wanted. If that isn't going on for you, then something is at play that shouldn't be and I'm happy to help you with it.