Do you need a little patience? 3 easy ways to ease it into your work and life...

Every time I see the word patience I hear Guns 'n' Roses in my head; "take it slow and things will be just fine, you and I'll just use a little patience." When they say it like that it sounds so easy. We've all had those moments when we feel like we're at the end of our rope or we just want to get it done, we're losing our patience. We expect things to happen immediately, quickly, or when we wanted them to, and when they don't... we become impatient. The idea of building patience may seem daunting and challenging but the results of doing it are backed by scientific research. Here are four reasons why you should practice patience. It is transforming and proven to help reduce stress, anxiety, improve our decision making skills, and reduce our daily struggles. The truth is patience takes time to cultivate. That's why it is a pillar of mindfulness. It is something worth accepting , creating and building.

WHAT IS PATIENCE?

When defined patience is one's ability to tolerate, accept, remain calm, deal with, difficult situations or emotions, trouble, or suffering in the absence of anger or upset. When we are impatient we tend to be tense, irritable, indecisive, and our negative emotions and body sensations rise up. These negative emotions and outcomes have been related to heart disease and negative impact to relationships both at work and in the home (choosemuse.com, 2021). Have you ever noticed how your body feels when you are impatient? Now that's a cause to pause. PRO TIP* as an exercise you can take a moment at anytime that you feel impatient. Stop and notice what is rising up. What emotions do you feel? What body sensations are triggered within you? Are you able to take a deep breath? Note down the answers to those questions in a journal so you can look back and learn.

WHY SHOULD WE PRACTICE PATIENCE?

We've all heard the saying "patience is a virtue". We say that because we are normalizing the value that we want people to uphold. We want people to value being able to tolerate and mange themselves in the face of challenge. It's a skill. Being able to wait for something takes inner strength and capacity. I know, I've struggled with it my entire life. When I was younger my patience was thin. I can remember being pulled into my bosses office after a meeting one time when I was 27, she told me to think about practicing the art of observation and patience. I remember feeling confused and put off. I thought I was being engaged, passionate, and knowledgeable when in reality I kept jumping in and commenting during the conversation. I couldn't help myself, I felt like I knew the answers so I wanted to respond and move things forward. I was passionate about the topic and getting on with the work. In my misinterpretation of the situation I was overstepping and cutting people off, I was being impatient. I was making others feel dismissed. Over the years her advice stuck with me and the power of patience has become my best friend. Let's explore a few of the ways patience can benefit us.

Benefit #1 : In your relationships, either work or at home, patience shows up as kindness, compassion, and empathy to your partners. Research shows us that patient people have stronger more cooperative long term relationships grounded in forgiveness and empathy (Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn). In your relationships at home, it is love. Think about those times you are standing at the front door waiting for your kids, spouse, partner to get ready to go...or maybe it's' the hundredth time you've reminded your partner to put the toilet seat up or down. I can see this one vividly.

Benefit #2: Practice patience and your decision making will improve. Research shows us that when you stop, slow down, and pause your decision making will improve. It happens all the time. We are given information that we don't want to hear or that negates all of the hard work we've done. It's so easy to react. I've done it myself many times, only now I have the tools to recognize when I'm in reaction mode and how to manage it. I used to find myself in reactive mode to my detriment, I had no idea I was there and I would plow forward. When we hear things that frustrate, anger, or nag us we feel pushed and our tendency is to react; resulting in saying things we don't mean, doing things we may not want to do. INSERT a little bit of patience.

Benefit #3: Learn to manage the day-to-day changes and inconveniences that pop up. Add a teaspoon of patience and let go of those negative emotions. Have you ever noticed that things pop up here and there throughout the day? Your shoelace gets stuck, you're running late because you didn't get the shower first, or the line up was longer than expected at Starbucks...and then you're late for your first meeting...things pop up all day, any day. It's part of living life. We are meant to be adaptable. Having a little bit of patience throughout our day can be the medicine we need to support us.

HOW DO WE PRACTICE A LITTLE MORE PATIENCE?

The truth is we could all use a little more patience, thank you Guns n' Roses for that one. Here are a few ideas on how to bring more into your daily life.

IDEA #1: Try a patience journal. If you aren't aware of what causes you to be impatient start here. Spend some time getting familiar with what makes you impatient. Try it for even one day. Note down the little moments and the big ones. Write down how you feel and how you react. Try to let go of judgment when you review your journal. To make it fun do it with a partner; your kids, your spouse, or a work colleague.

IDEA #2: Breathe. As you become aware of your moments of impatience. Take a breath. Notice when your patience is being tested. Stop and pause. Recognize your feelings rising, take a deep breath and feel. Notice how far a breath can take you.

IDEA #3: Step away for a moment. When it starts to get heated, it's okay to step away. We live in a world of immediacy, impulsivity and expectation. Grant yourself permission to take a beat before you respond. It feels really empowering. Try it!

The more we practice the deeper we connect. The journey is meant to be one filled with discovery. Mine has been one that keeps unfolding and opening each day. I am continuously grateful.

For more information?on how to reduce stress, anxiety, break habits, improve decision making, build confidence & resiliency, with the power of mindfulness, self-compassion and storytelling, please reach out to me at: [email protected]

You can also visit my site at:?https://admitone.ca/doublejstrategic/