DO YOU NEED A ‘GET REAL’ MOMENT?

Sometimes you try so hard to look like a good professional or a good leader that you refrain from embracing a reasonable amount of authenticity.??You feel compelled to successfully manage impressions.??That’s good – right???Yes, but we do it too much.??They need to see your confidence and competence, but they also need to see the human, including a few of the blemishes.??

Once or twice each year, you are wise to share a memory, an admission, or a story that highlights something you don’t often like to talk about.??It’s a moment when you get real.??You might talk about a mistake, a failure, or a setback.??It can be as simple as just mentioning something that worries you, makes you anxious, or that once cause you to feel embarrassed.??

People resist doing this because they fear that others will lose confidence in them when they see their imperfections.??The is mostly not true.??Assuming what you share is reasonable, not salacious or somehow off color, and that you’re sharing in this manner rarely instead of frequently, they will not lose confidence in you.

In fact, two really great things will happen.??First, you will become more human in their eyes.??More real and more approachable.??Second, you will help them feel a little better about being human too.??So, share!

In Dancing with Monsters, the main character Joe Vampire tries to help his team move forward, but he fails at first due to over reliance on his authority.??He shows confidence and competence, barks a few orders, and nothing good happens.?When he realizes the error of his ways, he decides to share something very personal with the team about himself in an attempt to make amends and build rapport.??It works!??

I can’t tell you what Joe shares – no spoilers! (get your copy here:?https://amzn.to/40B1RhX)??However, I will tell you one thing about me lately that has made me feel a bit uncomfortable that I feel I should share.??I have a small dog, Rachel (pictured).??She is about 20 pounds and can’t go out walking for more than thirty minutes in the Texas heat before she gives up and just lays down, refusing to go on.?

So I bought a dog stroller.??It’s like a baby stroller for little doggies.??Now she can go with me on my long walks that often go for one or two hours.??She loves it.??I love it.??Half the people we see out and about love it too.??They smile, say hello, and sometimes ask about Rachel.??The other half of the people we see roll their eyes at the image of this cute and perfectly capable dog sitting like a spoiled brat in the stroller.??They clearly think I am silly.??It felt weird at first, then I realized – who cares!?!??The stroller reminds me to just be me and to enjoy the new conversations it has created.??

What odd, interesting, and possibly difficult thing might you share just once in a while???Confidence and competence are spectacular, but an added dose of authenticity is also vital.??Maybe it’s time for you to get real and share something wonderfully human about yourself.?

TODD’S TIPS

Staying with the same theme, how do you pick an event or factoid from your life to share???Start simple, choose a failure or setback, or something you’re afraid of or embarrassed by.??These types of things are universally relatable.??Wait for a time the team needs a boost, is feeling strained, or possibly feeling distant from you.??Then just share.??If you’re very brief, sincere, and also share a quick comment about why you felt compelled to share, you just might be surprised how well you ignite more comfort and rapport with the team.??

Monsters:??Another reader decided to post on LinkedIn!??“Summertime - reading time.??Do you remember your childhood days and the monsters you had under your bed? Well, they're back again in Todd Dewett’s ‘Dancing with Monsters.’ … But they're not back as the creepy, hair-raising, scaring ones. They are a bunch of really low-performance monsters. … Each monster has its own defect, its individual fears and no clue how to scare children.??I had a great time reading the book. On the cover, it claims to be "A Tale about Leadership, Success and overcoming Fears". Yes, it is all of this. But it is much more. It is a story about teambuilding, about accepting challenges and personal growth. And last but not least: It is so much fun reading about these creatures who are not what the world expects them to be.??Definitely worth reading.”

Courses:??If you follow me closely, you know that creating educational courses in the leadership and careers space is my main focus.??So, when new courses are accepted, I jump for joy!??Three new courses have just been accepted at LinkedIn Learning.??The topics include initiating change, storytelling for leaders, and creating team success – stay tuned – will let you know when they launch!

Speaking:??Last week I had the pleasure of speaking virtually to a diverse group of mostly younger professionals from the UK and US who all work for Multiverse.??Very interesting firm – they provide high-quality professional apprenticeship programs that combine work, training, and community.??It was huge fun.??Check them out:??https://www.multiverse.io/en-US.

Until next time – go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!

Get your copy of Dancing with Monsters:??https://amzn.to/3tbdUTV

Watch Todd in action:??https://bit.ly/3EfcDSb

Book Todd:??https://bit.ly/3WHeRB0??

All my links in one place:??https://linktr.ee/drdewett.?